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how do you remain just friends with someone you're in love with?

Published on March 28, 2010 by friend_sam

we both have feelings for each other and always talk and spend a lot of time together since admitting how we felt to each other however all she wants is to be just friends when i want more and cant help trying to head in the direction of a relationship. at times we hold hands and sometimes cuddle a little and then the next day when i go to hold her hand or cuddle she just says no she's not ready for that we're just friends. it's all confusing cause she says she enjoyed when we held hands and cuddled and a lot of times she initiates it and then she just decides no lets not do that again and then later she'll do it again. things have gotten to the point where she seems to be distancing herself a little yet we still spend a lot of time together and still talk everyday.she cares about me or so it seems to me always have to let her know i reach work or wherever i'm going safe and that i'm okay.

ANSWERS

reality check.. if you really love the person you should respect how she feels.. if she loves you back, you're very fortunate to start with a friends turned into legit love.. just try to show your feelings so you won't regret or think of "what ifs" in the future..

-you can do it!

She is definitely sending you mixed messages. I think if you want to remain friends with her, you need to put boundaries in place. Friends don't hold hands or cuddle. You need to refrain from doing that even if she initiates it because you need to establish the difference between being friends and being in a relationship. It sounds like it's a gray area to her and she doesn't get it. I also advise you not to spend so much time with her. I know it's hard because you're in love with her, but you aren't doing yourself any favors by treating her like she's in a relationship with you when she's made it clear that she isn't. Think about how you behave with some of your guy friends and approach your friendship with her like that. Spend more time to yourself, less time with her and see about even trying to date other women. You shouldn't put your life on hold waiting for her to change her mind because there's no guarantee that she will and she's shown no signs of wanting to.

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