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How do you get someone out of your head?

Published on January 27, 2010 by fesser

Ok -

So a guy that I am no longer seeing (last broke off three years ago we were on again off again for about four years prior) and I haven't seen or spoken to him in a year and a half. For about a month now he has been on my mind CONSTANTLY. It is driving me crazy.

Its just that we were a perfect match for each other. We understood each other without saying a word, we balanced each others strengths and weaknesses, and we could talk to each other about everything. But it just wasn't enough, life got in the way and things would just never work out for us. So now I am stuck with all the memories in my head and I miss him even though I should forget him and move on.

This isn't the first time this has happened in the past, when this has happened fate has intervened. We would bump into each other at the store or something after not speaking for months because we broke things off, and we would wind up back in each others lives.

This is less likely now as I have moved a couple hours away. So should I just try to forget or or just have faith that if its meant to be he will make an appearance in my life again?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts you may have on this.


i ask my self the same question about my ex now time has passed 4yrs and he has a child i do too and im still with my childs father, but im still in love with him it suks life has drifted us apart and some how we still here and its so stupid cuz i ask my self if we love each other y arent we together?. so ask your self that question or if he love u y dont he try to work it out... it might help you

After my boyfriend and I broke up what was seemingly a perfect relationship I thought about him a lot too. At first I was sad about what I lost but then I tried to think of it a different way. When I think about him, I think about the good times we had and how he gave me years of happiness. It didn't work out, but I can reflect on the relationship in a positive light. I've gained good memories from my experience, but I've also learned what doesn't work in a relationship. Don't think of it as a past regret. Think of it more as a past experience and look to the future. You'll have many more opportunities in relationships to build lasting memories. There's someone out there for you that you'll find eventually. Think of the past as that, gone and done. But reflect on it in a positive light and know that it didn't work out for a reason. And that reason has made you a better person.

I try to focus on someone new when I start obsessing over someone that I know I can't have. You need a girls night out where you get dressed up and make yourself feel good about youself. Flirt with some random guys, be slightly more aggressive than you normally would, ask a guy to dance. maybe even get some numbers, then you will be thinking of the new possibilities instead of obsessing over old ones. you should also join an online dating site, it will get your mind off him if you got some guys paying attention to you, even if your not interested in the ones paying attention to you, it will remind you, your wanted! you just have to move on.

my friend and I have been taking Salsa lessons once a week, there really arent any guys either of us are interested in but when we get out of the instructional line and the teacher says partner up, its nice that someone comes up to us right away to dance and we arent just standing there looking around awkwardly, you need something to make you feel wanted and special. then you wont be focusing your thoughts on this guy.

when my ex and i broke up, we had been together 6 years, the first thing I did was I went out with friends. about 1 month after we broke up, i went on a date with a guy from the internet, i wasnt meeting guys in public so i tried the internet. it helped because i was getting out and not siting around moping about him. i didnt date any of the guys long but i was out and thinking of the future possibilities instead.

You should go to the webpage of the famous online psychologist, Dr. Robert at

He has great answers to many relationship questions.

Or just go to for an answer to your exact question.

i wrote to him, and he helped me a lot.

You can find all of his questions and answers here: