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How do you find yourself in a relationship?

Published on April 7, 2010 by tmckamy

I'm young and I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 months. but he has been fantastic. he's in college but he gets his associates degree in culinary arts this year and then is going back next year for baking because he wants to have his own restaurant. He's already got a lot of stuff figured out. And I used to be the same, I used to know what I wanted to do but for the last year or so, slowly and slowly I've been losing that picture, my focus, drive and motivation. Now I have no idea what I want to do with my life or who I am. And I need to take time and discover myself or at least parts of myself again. But I don't want to leave my boyfriend. I really do love him and his support is something I really need right now. So how do I work on finding myself while staying in a relationship?

ANSWERS

Sadly, if you need time to yourself to work on yourself you need just that... time to yourself. Just let your boyfriend know that you need a break from the relationship. That he hasn't done anything wrong and that you want to be with him but you need time to yourself to figure things out about where you're heading in life. Let him know that you have no intention of dating anyone else. Realistically you need time on your own to do this. Otherwise you'll be basing your decisions on him and what he's doing. If he really loves you, he should understand that. There is a chance that you won't actually end up getting back together after your break, but that all depends on what you figure out it is that you need in life. If you are truly unwilling to take a break, then just spend less time with him and take more time to yourself. Try different things that interest you and see what happens.

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