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How do I stop this endless cycle?

Published on May 2, 2014 by katrinar

I guess I'll give some background on my relationship beforehand.

I'm 23, my boyfriend is 24. We've been together for a little over 5 months and have been living together for 2 months. Before we lived together everything had more passion. We were more spontaneous, more involved with each other, more intuitive about each others wants and needs. But almost immediately after moving in together all of that went down the drain. Everything's routine, dull, boring. I have a high libido but our sex life went from 5 days a week down to 1 or 2 (if I'm lucky). Not to say that I didn't try, but every time I initiated it he would be tired or just not in the mood. After 2 weeks of rejection I just gave up. He doesn't want to spend as much time with me and the time we do spend together lacks substance and emotion. I've expressed my feelings to him but he couldn't understand how I could feel so neglected when he does so much for me... I took his lack of interest personally at first. But I'm a pessimist. If something doesn't go the way I planned, I will either give up entirely or diminish its importance. And I can already feel myself diminishing our relationship. I love my boyfriend but I no longer see him as my boyfriend, we're more like friends/roommates with benefits. I stopped expecting anything from him. I have to remind myself to say I love you back or to hold his hand in public or to sit close to him on the couch because we're suppose to be together... I'm afraid one day I'll stop letting him in and no longer care if we're together or not, if I hurt him or not.

I love him and he's the only one I can ever see myself loving. I just want advice on how to stop my relationship from spiraling down this deep dark hole. Our relationship is young and new it shouldn't feel old and routine.