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How do I stop being jealous over my husband's ex fiance...my stepson's mom?

Published on October 10, 2013 by jessicana

First of all, I am probably going to come off as a whiny brat but that is not my intention. I knew my husband for 5 years before we got married. We briefly dated in that time and broke it off. I knew he had a son and I also heard of his ex fiance on occasion. Since most of the time I knew him we were not "together", his comments about his ex did not bother me. But now that we are married, it's like remembering all of the comments made drive me crazy. When we used to argue he would say, I hate arguing because (ex) and I never used to argue...a few times I mentioned victoria's secret or he saw me with a bag from there he would say something along the lines that Victoria's Secret reminds him of when he used to buy stuff for (ex) so he doesn't like that store...one time he said that sometimes he wants to drive to (ex's) house and tell her he'll do whatever she wants him to do (because he was missing his son)...he has mentioned several times that he's wondered why? for 9 years (she cheated on him and left)... Yes, this was 9 years ago but I guess my problem is that she was the one that left, he still wanted to marry her and all of his comments make it seem like he is not over her. What makes it even harder is that I have to see her every 2 months and she has huge breast implants while I'm more flat chested and she's super tall and skinny while i'm short and more curvy (my own insecurities.) I must make mention that my husband is good about making me feel secure about our relationship and tells me how much better I am for him than she was but remembering past comments and even random comments now just leave me so insecure. I even think of the future of my husband and his ex helping plan my stepson's wedding and me not really having a part to play. I am not jealous of my stepson's relationship with his mom at all because I'm glad that he has a mom that wants to be in his life but I also hope and pray for a solid relationship with him as well. He is 11 so I know it will take time. Anyway, I just feel like an overly jealous horrible wife. I don't know why it comsumes me so much? It has honestly kept me up at night and I've shed many tears over the situation. Can anyone relate or have any advice?

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