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How do I or should I trust him???How do I or should I even trust him?

Published on May 5, 2010 by sam10

I entered this relationship that I am in under very wierd circumstances. He was my divorce attorney, and had a girlfriend that he was supposedly trying to break things off with. I have never felt good about the way things started, but trusted in him and what he said. Since then, it has only become more complicated, he has went back and forth so many times between the two of us women, to make matters worse, she was his secretary and a darn good one at that. I have left him alone on good terms to find out his feelings as she constantly plays the guilt card on him and he listens. Everytime I leave him alone for his "test" he comes back, usually in a few days, stating he wants to marry me, have babies and convert me to judiasm...ok then i go back and he slows his whole speech... then he becomes "confused" again. This past time I told him to really try to be with her and see if it would work and if it didn't and he were to come back to me(i told him i would wait) then he needed to be completely sure and rid of her for good. That lasted 9 days...ending with a phone call at 3 am. him crying telling me the same things but elaborating more, when i asked had he told her he said no, this went on for a week before he finally told her and that was because she hacked into his personal email and found an email that i had sent him the day before. You must understand, this woman is beyond crazy, she lies constantly to get his sympathy and cry's in front of him, throwing herself on the floor, she has destroyed anything of mine that was left in his house, cards, letters, poems, pictures, and even jewelry...then denies it. she snoopes regularly and the email she opened of mine, she erased! It had information about getting my tubes untied that he had requested, that evening when he returned from court she had been fake crying and told him that she lied about her tubes being tied(mind you , she is 47) and she only had an IUD. She finished that up with , it doesn't matter now since your with her. Claiming it was something she needed to get off her chest and was saving it for their wedding night as a present??? WTH??? The fact is she made up an elaborate story about her mean ex husband forcing her to have that done and had my guy crying(this was way before me) ...see where I am going with this? Since this last call and that night, he told her not to come back to work and he would find another secretary. He has seen me every weekend and some during the week( we live 2 1/2 hours apart). I am having trouble trusting because of the history and he has not stopped contact with her, she calls and crys about how sick it makes her that he is with me, and how she had planned a trip to new orleans and spent all this money because she just knew he would be with her...she ended up going alone, and i told him to go if he wanted, i want no guilt or part of a man who is going to constantly look back and wonder about another woman. She will stop at nothing and my guy is sooo gullible it makes me sick and when i try to tell him, he grows silent and distant, so i give up, he is grown, he will eventually do what he wants question is , do i hang around and wait it out? I am usually "happy go lucky", , I don't like game players- not my style, everyone that knows me would tell you that, I am a straight shooter and have NO idea how to deal with her cons..... help !help! help !please!