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how do I handle unfulfilled needs?

Published on June 5, 2010 by whatsnext

My guy & I have been together several years and we two toddlers. When we met, my partner was in a secular cult. I didn't realize it until we were already seriously involved, and when I asked him about the group all hell broke loose. I got counseling from a specialist who, over the course of a few years, helped me help him break away from the group. But there are serious scars left from his involvement and all that happened when I was helping him get free. I've had to be the strong one & he has been obsessive , isn't growing intellectually the way I've been & tends to start fights. He's very supportive and loyal but there are many areas where we just connect. Communication is Especially sexually. Sex has been practically non-existent for years. Part of it is having kids, but I also find myself wanting to be with someone I can lean on & learn from & share passion with. I developed a crush on someone I work with. I think he might be attracted to me as well & I'd like to find out. I am realizing now just how long I've gone without the kind of closeness I desire. My partner & I are in counseling but in counseling it's always about him & all the things he needs to learn about communication, etc. My needs just don't even come up. I don't want to hurt my partner but I Don't know how much more deprivation I can stand!