0 0

How do I get my heart & my logical mind to come together?

Published on August 3, 2012 by 0utsp0ken

I have a long time friend that after many years and changing circumstances he ask me out.He had been involved with someone that I also knew off and on for about two years.Wanting to be sure I held out for several months before becoming intimate with him.We were both busy and only had limited available time so the relationship fell into a pattern of FWB.Since I was not looking for a serious relationship this was fine with me.The off an on relationship he had continued to be tumultuous, volatile, and very on again off again. This went on for a year with me knowing about her but her having no clue about me. He asks me out one weekend and that date ended up lasting five months. During those five months, we had the most incredible sex. We lived on sex, every night, all night until the alarm clock would go off, and we would have to stop to go to work. Honestly, I do not know how we survived that long with no sleep. In the mean time, he helped me with several stressful situations and I helped him with several of his. We never fought, we got along great, his whole family loved me, his friends loved me, and everything was light and easy. Until Ms.On again Off again starts up again calling, texting, emailing declaring her undying love for him. She also was texting and calling me as well. The crazy drunk went so far as to break into the house(his) once when I was there alone, she went so far as to break in and come into the bedroom where we both were, show up drunk I cannot count the many times. Causing an ugly scene each time and being escorted to the door and off the property by him. She calls and harasses his Mother just out of the hospital upsetting her to no end. Then I notice the changes. He is letting her back in and I should have taken a stand then. The reason that I did not was his son who ask me to stay until he left for college so that she would not be completely back in their life making an already difficult transition impossible. So for his sake I stayed for the couple more weeks until he left for college and I left. It was not even a week before he called and said he had made the biggest mistake of his life. We get back together but the crazy b- - - - will not leave us alone so I leave again.He tells me that I am better looking than her, smarter, take better care of him, his son, his house than her. That sex and everyday life is much better with me than she is. His friends and family like me and hate her. But he wants to give it one last 100% try with her.WHY? If you are doing everything right why is it not working out between us? What is a girl to think when she is told she is doing everything right but he wants the trouble causing, alcoholic, cheating, lying, drama Queen? I know what to do . . . move on and put it behind me and that is what I am doing but I still want some explanation so I never make this mistake again. The logical answer is make a better choice and I know that. I have never had everything ever go or feel that right to be so wrong. My logical mind and my stupid heart cannot seem to make it to the same place at the same time!