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How do I get my ex boyfriend to move out?

Published on December 7, 2010 by hunnybearsc

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years because I had been financially supporting him for the majority of the time we dated, and I was tired of being a mother. We lived together and we are both on the lease at the house, but I am the only one of the two of us that is able to pay the rent/bills. In fact, I am the only one paying the rent at the house to date. I have made it clear that I am unwilling to continue living with him, and opened up a discussion about who would keep the house. At first he seemed to be thinking logically, and told me that I could keep the house because he could not afford it. However, it has been two months since I broke up with him, and he has made no effort to look for a new place. Recently, I told him that he had to move out by the end of the month. In response, he told me that he is going to continue living in our house - essentially our of spite - and would use the next few months to make my life a living hell (his words). I would move out, but am concerned that because my name is on the lease, I am going to be financially responsible for continuing to pay the rent that he cannot. Is there a realistic way to get him out of the house, or should I call it quits, get in touch with the landlords, and ask to break the lease?

ANSWERS

I would contact the landlords and let them know what the situation is. Because they are in the "rental" field they may very well know what your RIGHTS are and if not may be able to direct you to where you can get needed INFORMATION. Ultimately landlords just want their $$$, but it's worth a shot. Also you can GOOGLE "Housing Rights" and find out what legal avenues might be available to you according to which state you live in.

~Best of Luck,

I suggest you make a telephone call to an attorney and have the attorney send a letter to your ex-boyfriend suggesting an amicable partition of property. He probaby won't know what that means, but the suggestion of having to sit down in an attorney's office to discuss your break up may encourage the dead beat to pack up and scram. If he gets weird, go to your local courthouse and request an order of protection and have him removed. Don't have a conversation with him about it and don't threaten or warn him. He may beat you to it. The element of surprise is on your side.

You're in a difficult situation! The greatest difficulty is that your Ex doesn't believe you have power, strength or ability to act fully on the basis of what you say. The question to ask yourself is this: "What gives me power here?" Make certain that you are looking at power over and for yourself, not over him. Do you have power if you continue to live there and allow him to make your life a living hell? Do you have power if you talk with the landlord, get out of the lease, and leave? Do you have power if you contact an attorney or go to a local police station or rent board and ask for help? Where do you have power? You are the only person you have power over; and the present is when we have that power. Ask yourself these questions. Answer them honestly. Do your homework and get all the information you need (without talking about what you are doing, making threats or any such thing) and then take action. Take the action that leaves you with power over yourself and feeling as good as possible. Keep in mind that you are aiming to have your words and actions be congruent, and believable! And remember, this is a gift your Ex is giving to you. He's helping you to become more powerful in your own life! So, no resentment or anger. Be grateful to him for helping you to be so strong. Supporting him for 6 years has already showed you what a great provider you can be; now show yourself what a great and powerful action-taker you can be! ~~Ilene

I am dealing with something very similar and we are both seeing other people yet he refuses to move out and thinks that it is acceptable to threaten me and steal from me.He only pays for the things he wants and not really what we need. I support both of our children. This answer really has helped me alot and I know now what I have to do. Others have said the same thing but not like that so thank you and I wish this girl the best of luck as well. Thanks Nicole

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