YOUR VOTE

0 0

3 ANSWERS

how do i get my boyfriend to stop watching porn?

Published on March 15, 2014 by hernandez1990

my boyfriend is 23 years old and he claims to have a high sex drive. hes only had sex with two woman in his life well three with me but he watches porn, looks at magazines and has a HUGE collection of magazines, and he has dirty pictures of naked woman from porn sites on all his phones and of coarse im not ok with it bc im not the skinny blonde i think he desires, im not skinny, id say im about average and i feel like im not enough for him, i feel super insecure and we have sex about three or four times a week in one day and we go at it for hours and end up all over the room and even use toys to make it more interesting but i feel like its not enough what can i do to get him to stop watching it and to leave it for good??? im really unhappy about this because he says im enough but to me it doesnt seem like it.

ANSWERS

His desire to watch porn may not have anything at all to do with you. He is 23 years old...and he is right, at this stage in the game his libido is in overdrive!!!

The important thing to understand is that during that age, "young men" are very visual and very horny. They need continuous stimulation and release...while it may be uncomfortable for a lot of women, it is a natural part of their development. Some men like porn...others don't. Those that do should not be penalized...but more so allowed to be themselves. Just because he is looking at women with different body types than yours doesn't mean that you're not enough.

Confidence is even more sexy than Porn. Instead of worrying about the women he will never meet/sleep with, try focusing on being the best woman that you can be, not just for him...but for you as well. Build up your self-confidence and realize that him watching porn and getting excited is the same as him watching a movie star and getting excited. It's a fantasy! What fantasies can you play out with each other?

My quick answer is that you can't get him to stop watching porn, or having pictures of naked women everywhere, or any other behavior he wants to engage in. The only thing you can do is decide how you are going to handle it. If you stay while he continues in these behaviors you have told him are hurtful, you are actually telling him he can continue to behave in this way. And, more than likely, he will.

He may indeed find you attractive but he does not care enough about you to honor your wishes. Be clear, this is not about delivering an ultimatum. It is about caring enough about yourself to be with someone who respects your concerns. You don't say if you are enjoying the sex you are having with him. If you are, great. If you are doing these things to "keep his interest", you will begin to hate yourself and resent him. Neither are good predictors of relationship success.

He sounds young and self-centered. Grown-ups can manage their desires and are willing to do so for the sake of those they care about. Having your feelings discounted can only continue if you let it. My question is why do you want to be with someone who doesn't really value you?

ANSWER THIS QUESTION