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How do I get my boyfriend to find work?

Published on March 6, 2012 by annastar

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. He's never had a stable job because he's used to relying on poker for money. Recently it hasn't been working in his favour and was forced to quit that lifestyle. It's been about 2 months now and he hasn't even tried looking for work. Because he doesn't have much experience he's been reluctant to work for minimum wage until he finds something he is interested in. He also doesn't value or believe in the working lifestyle because he's made so much money from playing poker in the past (his mentality is "Why work for 2 weeks and make $900 when I can make that in a day with poker?"). All of this worries me. He's a great person with a great heart but his lack of drive and work ethic is causing me to lose faith in having a future with him. I love him more than anything in this world and I really want him to realize that he's not being practical. I've tried talking to him about this but he doesn't like to be lectured. Can anyone please help me with the right words? Am I being unjust for thinking I need to leave him? Should I give him more time to come around?


I think you have your answer honey. I'm going through the same issue with my husband. We have two kids together, and I am the only one working, even though we need the extra income. You do not want to be in my shoes.

The fact will NEVER force him to find a job. I would run away from this relationship as fast as you can. If marriage and a family is what you want in the future, you have to find someone that will be able to give it to you. Poker winnings won't cut it. Good luck.

If he wants to be a professional gambler then that is his job and career. Is it secure no not at all. But then in this time what is?

Thank you Vasha. He used to play poker professionally but recently decided to give up on it--problem is, because it was quick money he no longer respects low paying jobs (which he needs to start with because of his lack of experience)