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How do I get my boyfriend to find work and stick with it?

Published on March 6, 2012 by annastar

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. He's never had a stable job because he's used to relying on poker for money. Recently it hasn't been working in his favour and was forced to quit that lifestyle. It's been about 2 months now and he hasn't even tried looking for work. Because he doesn't have much experience he's been reluctant to work for minimum wage until he finds something he is interested in. He also doesn't value or believe in the working lifestyle because he's made so much money from playing poker in the past (his mentality is "Why work for 2 weeks and make $900 when I can make that in a day with poker?"). All of this worries me. He's a great person with a great heart but his lack of drive and work ethic is causing me to lose faith in having a future with him. I love him more than anything in this world and I really want him to realize that he's not being practical. I've tried talking to him about this but he doesn't like to be lectured. Can anyone please help me with the right words? Am I being unjust for thinking I need to leave him? Should I give him more time to come around?


When a couple is mismatched in their desire to achieve and be ambitious, the relationship is very difficult. If he isn't self-motivated, there's nothing you can do. You don't want to have to be his mommy the rest of his life.

Will you be happy in life supporting him while he sits around thinking he's too cool to take a minimum wage job?

Unfortunately, YOU can't do anything about it. HE has to WANT to work and get a job. Obviously, he doesn't want to. I would suggest leaving him, unless you want to take care of him while he puts your money on the line.