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How do I get my boyfriend to be more intimate and interested in me?

Published on January 6, 2010 by definecorrupt

We've lived together sense July, 09 but we've been seeing eachother(having sex) sense February, 09. And we just made ourselves an official couple on December 14th. I feel like slowly over the time we've lived together he's become less attracted to me. He doesnt get as into sex or anything intimate, Now its if he has a hard on we have sex quickly and thats that. No foreplay, kissing, cuddling, touching. Its not just the sex though, Its our relationship in general. He's a very quiet guy, He keeps most of his feelings to himself. So Im just not sure how to address this issue or how to fix it.


There are a lot of possibilities. At some point, you need to talk to him to find out what he thinks is going on. You also need to talk to him about things you want more of - you can try to put this positively - I was just thinking about the time we did X and wishing we could do it again, or I love cuddling, can we do that tonight, etc.

There is a certain extent to which any couple will have less sex as time goes on. You may not be able to keep things at the pace you started with.

He might be simply taking you for granted. Or he could be feeling weird about commitment.

He might have other problems in his life. He could be worried about work or money. He might be tired. He could be depressed. He could be worried about getting and keeping an erection, if he had a bad experience.

Things you can do besides asking him what's going on: Talk about his work, life, etc. Go for a walk, get exercise together. Give him a massage. Try to arrange times for sex when neither or you is tired and you don't have to be anywhere or do anything. (Weekend mornings may be good.) Make sure you're both going to bed at the same time, etc. Have fun together going out or whatever you two like. Do seductive things that he likes - but be sure you do it when he is well-rested and in a good mood. Work out conflicts you two have in other areas. Compromise. Be nice to him.

Thank you, That helps me out a little. I think things are more complicated than Im able to explain though.