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How do I get my boyfriend to be attracted to me again? or act interested sexually and intimately again??

Published on October 2, 2010 by kbeam317

My fiance and I have been together for 2 years, and just recently had our first baby in May, for about the last year or so we have had a huge decrease in our sex life, and intimacy. He just doesn't seem interested anymore, and he swears its not true and it is not me, but what else could it be? I have tried just about everything, I have talked to him about it, cried about it, (to him), and now it is just a fight. I stopped putting so much pressure on the whole situation, and NOTHING changes. He rarely wants to have sex, maybe once a week, and only usually if he has had a few beers. What do I do??? I am 100% sure he is not cheating on me, so what could the problem be? i think he just isn't physically attracted to me anymore, and not sure if this is his way of acting because he doesn't want to be with me truly. Or if I am just being insecure. He says that he is attracted to me, loves me, and wants to marryh me, so I don't know what to think. Even the simple things he used to do, the little things, the hugs, kisses, etc. have significantly decreased. It all started before I got pregnant, so I am pretty sure it doesn't have to do with that. PLEASE HELP?????????? Could it just be our relationship is dying? We now fight alot because of this, and other things, sometimes we don't even sleep in the same room! I am only 25 years old, and he is 30 years old, and only 2 years into our relationship, this stuff is not supposed to happen yet!


I don't have any children yet but know what you are talking about because of friends having similar problems now and again. I really hope you will become closer soon, because its not fair to you or him what you are going thru. All you can do is try not to fight and try to make your home the cosiest possible, try to be pretty and considerate and maybe he will take you as an example and follow your ideas and doings. If now you cannot have sex maybe just try to accept sweetness, kindness and similar between both of you. Find alternative ways to brighten up your relationship, ask him what he would like to do in his free time, decide also yourself and try to accept what you have: a child, a home and a husband, even if its not perfect. Some people have even less. Try to work on your outside looks, by wearing cute stuff, invite some good friends for dinner or lunch, even if hes not there, talk about it with your mom or a good friend, and try to stay calm about it if you can. To fight will make things worse, of course fighting or being loud is a way to get rid of tension, but in the end it makes you, your husband and the child really uptight, right?! I hope you'll find a peaceful way to solve this.