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How Do I Fix Myself?

Published on October 16, 2012 by m_r_o_j_a_s_130

Why am I attracked to emotionally or physically unavailable men? It seems like every guy I am interested in either has a girlfriend or just got out of a long term relationship. Recently, I was with a guy who just got out of a year relationship and it last a week and then he went back out with his ex. I really just want to find the right guy not be attracted to the wrong guy. HELP PLEASE!


You're on your way to changing what sounds like a long-term habit of yours. Figure out your patterns when it comes to men. Move beyond telling yourself "I am attracted to emotionally or physically unavailable men" and look at how you tend to think about yourself, relationships and the men you think you can attract and be in a relationship with.

The key here is to uncover your blocks to attracting the kind love you really want and deserve. The may mean that you need to go back into your past a bit and see where you might be holding on to old and painful experiences. Learn from your past and heal from it so that you can move forward clear and open for what you want.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto

First, realize that there is nothing wrong with you, your are perfect the way you are. Ask yourself, "What self worth story am I reinforcing by making myself wrong?" When you answer that question, ask yourself "Why is [HTML_REMOVED] important?" Repeat "Why" until you have a break through.

Second, consider that "fixing" is an opportunity to learn, not a reason to make yourself wrong. From this last experience it should now raise a red flag within you that a man just exiting a relationship may not be good, so back away. To help reinforce this, journal to identify self sabotage trends.

Last, we cannot truly love someone without first loving our self. When you say "I really just want to find the right guy ..." Why are you looking? Is it to fill a need within you, or because you just want to share your life with someone? When you love your self, the love you give is truly a gift without any expectations for love to return to you. But if you love to feel fulfilled, then it will always come across as being needy.

Good luck on your journey, blessings.

First you get to love yourself, exactly as you are right now. Accepting yourself is worth doing because you will experience all kinds of positive benefits in your life, not just in relationships with men. Make a list of what you truly like about yourself. Expand it. Focus on it. Make it part of a gift you give yourself first thing every morning. Look in the mirror and talk about all the things you like about yourself. When you radiate self love and joy with who you are you can't help but attract people who also feel good about themselves. That's a better crop from which to choose someone to get to know better! Best to you, and have fun celebrating yourself!

Make sure you know what you really want. You may be attracted to these men because your sub-conscious KNOWS you can't have them, and you're really afraid of the risk of a committed relationship.