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How do I deal with this "time apart"

Published on March 27, 2013 by ngreen14

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. It's been a happy relationship for the most part until recently when we have these petty little 2 minute arguments almost every time we hang out. They're always over the dumbest things such as where to park or what stores have bag rules. Anyway, they get heated very quickly and are annoying, but honestly we almost always forget them the next day. This weekend, it happened again in public (over the store's policy about leaving bags at the desk) and he completely turned around and walked away from me. When we eventually met up, he talked about how there must be underlying issues to these stupid arguments and that he doesn't want us to fight about these things anymore. He wanted us to take "some time apart" to think about the problems and said we would talk again soon. He hugged me and left.

Now, it's been 3 days and when I messaged him today to see if he wanted to grab lunch tomorrow and talk he said it is too soon and maybe this weekend or at most next week. Is it really too soon? I'm now becoming worried that he is going to break up with me. Or maybe he legitimately isn't ready (in past fights, once it took him 3 days to get over a joke I made). I don't know what to do for this next week or how to handle it, since these thoughts have been effecting other parts of my life. Am I too quick to jump to conclusions? He has mentioned in the past that he prefers to avoid confrontation and he sometimes takes a bit of time to get over things.


Sometimes people we like are emotionally unavailabel to us for whatever reason. You are describing a lot of red flags here and I don't think you are jumping to conclusions too quickly.

It shouldn't take someone who is interested in maintaining a good, loving relationship, very long to "get over" a spat. And they shouldn't just walk away leaving you hanging and feeling emotionally vulnerable.

Someone who truly cares will talk things out...unless they are faced with someone who keeps creating unnecessary drama and they don't want to be caught up in it any longer. But even then, they should be honest enough to communicate that is what's going on.

Take a good, honest look at your disagreements to make sure you're not causing them by something you are doing. If you are, take steps to minimize the issues and see if things get better.

If not, then keep your eyes open for a great guy who can be more supportive and involved in a good relationship with you.

Little conflicts (and bigger ones) do arise in every relationship. They need to and can be addressed by two adults who are committed to a loving relationship.