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How do cope with my bf's coworker

Published on January 7, 2012 by bubbles22

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years he is 8 years older than me. He works long hours and his coworker is a female.This woman is much older than me about 10 years , she has been married 2 times and has a son about a year old. He talks about her a lot and they seem to be friends , what bothers me is that when i go to his work and i see her she wont greet me unless hes around. she also sends him texts and calls him when hes off. Not a lot but she does it. He told me that her kid adores him and so does her mother (they go to their work sometimes). He told me that she said to him she is worried I think they are having an affair. Why would she say that? I dont even know her. I would like to add that I have always been nice when I see her. He also made friends with one of her best friends who is a guy, He has now invited my bf over so they can all visit. I want my bf to have friends , and i want him to be happy , I just feel worried that these people would infuence him to be with her ( I know I sound a little crazy) Im just worried and alone, as this is the person he works with and I cant talk to him . I dont want to make his life at work any harder.

I feel worried and left out in some way. My bf is all i have , i hardly have family  . I lost a baby in my previous relationship and it feels like she is trying to find a "father" for her son.

I have been abused and cheated on by my pervious boyfriend and this relationship has been everything I could dream about its  beautiful, he is the most caring and amazing man. It feels like she is trying to do something. I feel angry and jealouse when he talks about her, i try not to let it show and just smile. I told him that he sould draw the line with women and its not my job or place to do anything.

I dont understand why she is doing this? What can I do? He is very attaractive and I understand women like him , hes very charming and kind.

I just dont know how to handle this with grace and how not to lose him. :(

ANSWERS

I'm sorry that you're going through this. What's going on between your bf and his co-worker is an emotional affair. Even if it never progresses to a sexual relationship, it's still harmful to your relationship with him. Get some books from the library about emotional affairs. Read articles on the internet about this issue. Discuss what you've learned with him. Maybe have him read the articles with you. Tell him you want to build a nice life with him, but this emotional affair he's having is harming your relationship. If he gets defensive, he doesn't want to change and likes the ego boost or whatever he's getting from that relationship more. Ask him to attend counseling with you. An impartial third party may be able to get this through to him.

For yourself, you need to work on building an interesting life for yourself. Your bf probably feels a lot of pressure that he's the center of your universe, and the sole reason for your happiness. This is not good for a relationship. You need to find a hobby. Join the gym, a bowling league, a knitting club, a book club, a gardening club, dance lessons, etc. Welcome female friendship into your life. Go to college. If you're not working, get a job. To be a good partner, you have to be happy with your own life without a man being the only reason for your happiness. Then if a relationship doesn't meet your needs, it won't be the end of the world if the relationship breaks up. It's always upsetting to end a relationship, but you will be in a better place if this happens, if you have the support of girlfriends, and a fun interesting life that doesn't include a man. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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