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how to deal with the situation when u had so much to say during a break-up and you didn't and just took his s**t?

Published on February 1, 2010 by hurtsoul

well i met this guy at a party through a friend.He liked me instantly and things were great for two months and suddenly after that he started sulking.i tried to talk to him many times but he was not even interested to talk and because i liked him so much n feared that I'd lose him if i became too pushy.i was patient still I'd go to his place thinking that he'd be ready to talk and bring things back to how it was.i must say i suffered a lot then (almost a month).so one fine day i said that i really wanted to talk and I'd made up my mind that I'd break up cos i couldn't take his cold-shoulder anymore.i started by asking if he really wants to work things out n he said that he couldn't because of his family(i knew about it earlier too) and started saying that i had the same characteristics as his elder brother(whom he hates) and many other hurtful things and for what i didn't retaliate because maybe cos deep down i really wanted it to work and didn't want to piss him off more..well i didn't break down or anything.i just listened to him patiently. i didn't try to defend myself.i could've told him so many things (not trying to convince him to stay)but things like even he was at fault more so than i was ..but i didn't say anything.After all that blame-game he calmed down and as i was about to leave he asked what i wanted to do...i could've told him that i just wanted to leave cos i couldn't see any good coming out of our relationship but i simply said i don't know!!!(when i knew what i wanted) i asked him the same thing n he replied saying that even he doesn't know..then finally he said he'd gimme a call after he gets his phone back(his phone was lost a month ago).i didn't say anything.(cos somewhere deep down i knew he'd never call and just assuring me, the assurance that i didn't want!!) i didn't wanna be in that position where I'd be expecting again.the ball is in his court again.even then i could have told that there's no point of him calling cos i didn't want to continue still i didn't say anything!! n then i left and now I'm regretting so much so much!!why the hell didn't i tell him all those things i could have told him.i would've felt much better.(that's what i think).what should i do now??

ANSWERS

It's over and it's best to just let it go. Know that you two aren't a good match for each other and move on. I think it would probably help if you wrote a letter to him saying all the things you really wanted to say to him and giving him the final goodbye. Put that letter in a drawer (don't send it) for like a week. Then tear it up and throw it away. If you aren't able to express yourself, you'll probably hold on to those negative feelings, but what's done is done and there's no real point in trying to contact your ex again just to tell him what you really think. Use the letter as your outlet and move on.

I've been in a situation where I didn't say anything and in a situation where I said everything I wanted and both times I felt miserable afterward.

Saying what you want doesn't really make you feel better. There's always more you want to say even after that and it doesn't shame the person you are talking to like you think it should.

I agree with adrian. Write a letter (not an email) get everything out and then set it aside. It won't do any good to send it, not for you or for him. But you have to find a way to allow yourself to let go of this. So write it in a journal or a letter and set it aside and don't let your mind dwell on it.

i guess you guys are right ...thanks lyz and adrian...i wasn't expecting a solution so soon...thats probably the right thing to do....coz i don't wanna make myself look like an idiot confronting him again...it really hurts to go away from a person u still like...the heavy feeling that sets in especially when u wake up in the morning...the sudden thought that he's just left u for no reason at all....well thats wat i think....god knows if he even felt a little bad,a little regret for letting me go.....o god!!! when will i find a person who loves me as much as i love him....why can't we get imprinted just like the werewolves in the"twilight" series....lol....all wishful thinking..!!!

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