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how can you have sex with someone and not develop feelings?

Published on October 30, 2012 by sugarbabby213

okay, so i just got out of a 1 year relationship and i was trying to do everything i can to get over this guy. so i thought of ways how to do it...  well lets just say it worked... it worked out to well actually. i contacted my ex asking him if he wanted to come over and have sex. of course he took me up on that offer. he came over and i didnt really think of it more then a one night thing. well after we had sex i wasnt very much satified with it so i thought well im definatly not gonna have feelings for him. welp think again. i actually cant stop thinking about him. i dont even think of my ex at all anymore. so i need some help on how to not develop feelings for someone you have sex with. 


Hormones are released when women have sex, making them want to bond with a man. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with someone. Men have those hormones too, but at a far lesser amount, and that's why they can have sex without feeling. Women always end up wanting a real relationship when they have sex with a guy. You need to get over your ex in different ways.

If you're still communicating with him, stop. Spend more time with girlfriends, going to the mall, the movies, cooking together. Start a new hobby or sport. Learn a new language. It's good to be alone for a while to grieve a relationship, and to think about what you really want in a future partner. That way, you won't jump into a rebound relationship that's not right for you, because you're lonely. Good luck.

This is not an effective way to get over a breakup. Trying to have a FWB situation with your ex is setting yourself up for more heartbreak. Instead, take regular time to let yourself feel what you're feeling. Be sad or angry or however you feel and let it out. The more you can allow and express your feelings-- even if they are confused and mixed-- the quicker they will release and you will be free to do what you enjoy doing. This will also free you up for a new relationship, when you're truly ready for one.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto