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How can I spice up (verbal/physical) a relationship when both of us are busy?

Published on February 7, 2010 by dianna

Hello, My name is Dianna, and I have a sweet and lovely boyfriend named Mike, and we have been going out for about a few months now. A few months ago, he became a NYPD cop, and he has the worst schedule according to man, from 5pm to 2 in the morning (he's even working as I am writing this). Well, I am starting to notice him a little too tired than I have ever witnessed. On the other hand, I have classes in college almost all day for 5 days a week.

I really love my boyfriend, but sometimes it feels like it's a long distance relationship, even though he's a borough away.

I wanted to know of cute little ideas I can do or we can do to "rekindle" or renew of relationship since we now have these sceduling problems. Anything would help; however, I am going to try writing little cute notes for him.

Thank you for your coorperation.


Hi Dianna,

I can definately relate. These days it seems that a lot of couples are getting so caught up in family, careers, and everything in between, but what you must remember is that a relationship is like a flower if you dont water it, it will wilt and eventually die. I find that spontinaity is a way to add a spark to a relationship for example run a hot bubble bath and surround the tub with candles and enjoy a long hot bath together. If you are to tired or your schedules are to conflicted to go out have a date night at home. You might want to catch a nap and set your clock so that you can be up when he gets off. You may have to sacrifice a few hours of rest one night a week but keeping relationships alive takes work and even a little creativity.

Pack him a snack every day and slip a sweet note inside. Or put a note or picture in his pants pocket. Stay up one night and give him a back rub when he gets home. Send him an email to let him know that you miss him.

And remember, when you are with him do your best not to whine or vent too much. It's hard when you rarely see one another and the times you do see each other you are negative.