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How can I salvage my relationship?

Published on February 24, 2013 by ohsakijs

I've been dating a Japanese guy for the past two months. About two weeks ago, it started feeling a bit awkward between us due to a certain incident.

What had happened was that my boyfriend got sick. The next day, I asked if I could go over, but he told me it might be better if I waited until he felt better. I told him that made sense. After work, I sent him a text that said, I guess that since I can't go over, I'm going to my old place to pick up some stuff. He sent me a reply that said even if I did go over, he wouldn't be able to accommodate me because he's sick. I told him I understood and I'm going to my old place because I had to get some stuff. I also asked if he was home yet. He told me I was being really persistent. Why couldn't I just let him rest? So I sent him a reply that said, 'huh? I'm not going. I'm not mad or anything. I just wanted to know if you got home safely' He sent a message back that said 'this is tiring, I'm going to bed. Please don't reply.'

Now keep in mind that my boyfriend and i communicate in Japanese, which is not my native language, so the way I wrote things may have caused some confusion. I realized this after the last text and I wanted to send an explanation to tell him that we might have had some sort of mis-communication, but he said not to reply, so I decided to send one the next morning. But the next morning, he sent me a text that said good morning as usual, so I figured he probably forgot or decided to let it go. From then on we didn't see each other for a few days. Everyday he sent me a good morning text, I asked if he was feeling better, everyday he told me not really, and then I replied with I hope you feel better soon. Although with the previous incident, now it kind of sounded like I have motive. So one night, I went out with some friends. I asked how he was feeling and then my phone died. Then I checked my messages. The first one said 'horrible' and the second said 'you ignoring me? Fine. Bye-bye.'

I told him no my phone just died. Later he texted me and asked if I wanted to come over, so I agreed, but he was definitely acting a lot colder than before. We met a few times after that. The beginning of this week I realized my oeriod was late. I told him I was scared, he asked of what, but then I went to do something and he tried to text me and call me. When I saw my phone, I called him back. He asked what I was scared about. I told him my period wasn't coming. He might have misheard me because he called me selfish and told me he's busy too. I didn't really understand so I apologized and said I wouldn't be selfish anymore. I found out I was pregnant. I asked to meet so I could tell him, but he told me his grandma just died and he had to go back to his hometown. So I told him that was more important and to let me know when he's back in town. I got a response later that said he won't be back for awhile. I replied that I understood, but I really had something to tell him. When he didn't reply, I told him that if it was okay, to call me. (My friends told me telling him sooner would be better) He told me I was being extremely persistent and that he can't get along with me. It's impossible! I sent him the photo of the sonogram and told him I wouldn't be so persistent if it wasn't that important! Then I apologized and said I want to start over. I want to clear up any misunderstandings we had. I was sorry for being so persistent since I was worried about my pregnancy and I'm really not the kind of selfish person he thinks I am. He said he'd call me after the funeral.

So what should I say during our phone call so I can salvage the relationship? I want the child, but I can't do this alone. And I really like him.

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