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how can i move on and change?

Published on June 12, 2012 by lucyjay

hi, im 16 and from i was 13/14 i have been having sex. not all the time but sometimes. i know the guys there clean, well of and nice, and well known. but they use me,and because i fancy a few of them, i let the use me. because i fancy them, but i no there using me. but i feel as if i say no ill hurt there feelings. its just im a very caring person and respect peoples feelings. they are probally talking about me and calling me a slut to others. but i dont no what to do. ive wised up and stoped it but it hunts me, im depressed, so sad. relationships dont work for me. i hate that i was that person. i hate every minute of it. i am a very good girl, i studied hard for my gcses and will be returning to school when i recieve my results in august. i am going to go on and be teacher. i was brought up in a brilliant family, the best loving mum and siters. i want to be normal again and be a real person for things to be happy, i want to walk about with my head held high. i am usally a very strong and brave person as ive been through alot but i need advice and help.


Look, everyone makes mistakes and have those days when they feel uncertain about their actions. Don't feel down because you've down bad things in your past. If you have already stopped doing them, there's no worry anymore. You've done the best you could with your current knowledge. The best and most important thing you can do now is move on. Who cares what they're saying? Maybe you'll never meet them again in your life, and anyway: people change day by day. You will have some bad decisions in your life, because you are a human being. You make mistakes. Everyone does. So you should let yourself move on, and don't care about the wrong things in your past, because you learnt the lessons from them. Instead of thinking about your past, think about your future. What kind of person would you like to be in 5-10 years. Write down your goals, your future personality, and most importantly write down what you're looking for in a man (e.g: be smart, understandable, has emotional intelligence.. don't write looks!) Hope I helped, good luck

  1. You were very young, and it's not your fault.

  2. You are taking the blame that is not rightfully yours. Your family and your friends should have protected you. They didn't. Every minor should be protected by their parents and the older people around them.

  3. You are getting depressed, which means you aren't getting good counseling. Your anger needs to be directed properly. You're aiming it at yourself rather than at those responsible.

To move on and change you need to confide in a mature trustworthy adult who can stand up for you and protect you.

Please reach out and find a wise person who can help you think through this properly. You've been around people who treated you with disrespect, and now you treat yourself the same way.

It will take more than a year to break free from this pattern. Give God time.

You can't change what others think of you, but you can change how YOU think about and treat you. This is actually more important. Yes, take responsibility for your choices, but start to forgive yourself too. Forgiveness is essential to help you change your life and experience lasting, positive change. Each moment is a new moment. Make sure that in each moment you are making choices that are in alignment with what your goals are.

Working with a counselor or coach might really help you with the depression so please consider getting help.

It's is very important that you find a counselor who lives in your area to help you work through this. Getting personal counseling help is very common and healthy.