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How can I make my wife more willing to please me during sex?

Published on June 13, 2009 by happyhornyhusband

I am happily married (6 yrs) and am willing to do anything sexual to or for my wife...anything. She is not willing to do anything for me and keeps it very simple. I love to give her oral but she hates giving me oral. I try to give her oral all the time but she rejects me like 80% of the time. I think I get oral like two or three times a year!! I hate that. She never wants to wear lingerie. Sometimes I feel she doesn't find me attractive. I have considered going else where for oral satisfaction. Any suggestions for fixing this boring sex life? I want a "lady on the street but a freak in the sheets".


Hmm, have you tried to talk to her about this? See if she has any ideas that will make her more willing to try new things. Do you ask her what she wants, or just do things that you think she should like? Start easy, maybe telling her how hot you find her when she does wear lingerie.

I have tried talking to her about this for a very long time now. The only times she gets wild is when she is drunk, which has happened three times in the past 6 yrs. I guess she is embarrassed to ask for anything, because she never wants to answer. I am always all over her telling her how gorgeous she is...always.

Has this always been a problem in your marriage?! Things cannot be all that happy if there's discord in on or other parts of the relationship. Maybe she has self esteem issues, or feels she doesn't have enough experience in this department?! Does she have religious or personal values that makes her feel she cannot reciprocate back to you!? Maybe there's an odor issue or a mental image of the act that bothers her? Like you said, & with the suggestions I gave may tie into the fact she may be embarrassed? If she only gets wild when she's drunk I would think you would want someone WITH their faculties to adore you?! Maybe you're not sexually compatible?! I think seeking help "elsewhere" will not help, but make matters worse! Try communicating again outside the bedroom, maybe a sex therapist would help? Each of you taking a shower prior to may help ease her into it? Have you both tried to shop for lingerie?! Maybe some of that stuff irritates her skin, I know the lace stuff does me, so find silk or satin teddies or a camisole or something may work?! But, make her feel part of things too, just don't ask "I would like, or could you do this..." I hope this helps! =)

Do you encourage her to swallow? She may be the type of person that can't stand swallowing and is afraid or embarrassed to tell you, perhaps she fears it may hurt your feelings. Maybe the very thought of you releasing while she's giving you oral makes her want to gag. Some women can't stand the idea of being pressured by their honey to release in her mouth, or especially to swallow.

With my own experience, I never did like the smell of my husband's release. It always made me gag, so I never gave him what he wanted even when he pressured me on a regular basis to give him attention, and I never told him what the problem was, even though I probably should have told him.

Perhaps if you promised not to make her catch your release, she would be more willing to please you.

The organ you want to concentrate on is her brain! Most women need stimulation hours before sex. Leading up to it is the best part, the anticipation! Do you talk dirty to her? I personally hate that. It makes me feel like I'm nothing more than a piece of meat. You need to pay attention, and learn what turns her on and what turns her off. If you have kids, spend time with them. There is nothing more attractive than a man that is good with kids. Make them happy and mama's happy, Subtle touches throughout the day - and I don't mean grabbing her ass! Putting your hand on the small of her back as you pass her in the kitchen, a light touch goes a long way, brushing her hair away from her face before you kiss her gently (not the tongue down the throat), holding her hand while driving in the car. It's all about intimacy outside of the bedroom. The foot massage, or back rub while watching tv, etc... It totally stimulates the mind. Telling her you love her is easy, showing her is what counts. And that means doing something nice, without expecting something in return. Telling her she's beautiful is one thing, but proving that you care about what she's thinking and feeling, is what really matters. Want to really motivate her, do all these things and then don't ask for sex. She needs to feel that you connect on an emotional level, not just physical. If something happened during the day that upset her, she'll have a hard time letting that go when its time for bed. My significant other would ignore me, all day, no interaction, no real conversation, sometimes even called me a bitch, and yet when it was time for bed, suddenly he was all over me, assumed all was forgotten. I was not in the mood. Sex drive is not like a light switch that can be flipped on in an instant, so many men don't get that. Women need stimulation long before hitting the sheets. Lastly, the more you please her, the more she'll want to please you. I was with a very selfish lover for years, it was all about him and I didn't really like sex. Then a man came into my life that showed me things that blew my mind, things I never dreamed about. I was very motivated to please him, because he brought me so much pleasure. I would do anything for him, because he brought me to heights never reached before. Pay attention to what works and what doesn't and know her 'triggers'.