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how can i improve my love life

Published on July 6, 2010 by thomort2

hi my name is thomas and ill be honest about my life so i can get the best answer possible honestly im 39 yrs old never been married no kids or nothing, it sounds odd but its true, part of my reason is because most off my life ive had major depression and anxiety disorder at my teen years i always wanted to be isolated from everybody and was very shy to talk to girls so my teen years passed and i never had a girl friend and as i entered my 20s i started abusing alcohol because of my depression and of course i started drinking because i felt very lonesome i always got rejected and used alcohol to get over my failures all it did was make me gain weight and go bald as u can see it made things worse. i finally stopped abusing alcohol at age 36 got treatment for depression and started exersising i went from 226 to 160 i feel better about my self but now at age 39 i still dont have any luck picking up girls and it scares me because im hittin 40 in 5 more months. i completly stopped drinking i eat healthy take vitamins i do the best i can but im still alone and its so hard for me because now i think its an age issue another words girls now wont talk to me because of my age. and the strange thing is i only try to hit on girls 18-27 they are the only ones that i like the reason why is that i never enjoyed my young years with a girl of that age and now that my lifestyle has changed i want to experience something with a young girl because i want to catch up on the things in life that i lost in my young years it gets so depressing to get rejected by a young girl now at my age i work out at a gym full of hot girls but i just dont have the guts to aproach them im scared of getting rejected that feeling will get me so depressed so i just dont say nothing im so worried now because of my age i dont want to be 50 and never have sex. so whats the best advice to pick up girls 18-27 even though im 39 . im 5 foot 8 i weigh 165 so as u can see im not in bad shape e mail me at please respond as soon as u can thanks......... thomas


Dear Thomas,

I appreciate you being so honest about your life. As a therapist, I am very proud of your accomplishment. I think you are very focus on your age and never having sex. In addition to only dating girls within a certain age. Maybe you could try to focus on things you enjoy to do. Maybe try to find a hobby. Yes, it is true that you missed out a lot during your teenage years. However, to try to find it by dating someone that age might not necessary work out as well. If you are looking to settle down with someone, you should look for someone your age. Generation gap makes a difference in conversation. Rejection is part of dating. Don't think of it as it only happens to Thomas. Practice makes it perfect. If you don't ever try, you will never succeed. You have succeed many things thus far (ex: lost weight, beat addiction). Continues to be conscious of your depression/anxiety history, once you have it, it is very easy to get it back. Any type of stressors could set you backward, hope you have a good coping skills to fall back on. Good luck.

P.S. any girls would just like someone to say "hello", be honest,not needy,and be a gentleman. Don't tell anyone your background so quickly. It is too overwhelming. Allow someone to get to know you first before revealing too much info

let me ask you something? what is your opinion of yourself? before you can love someone else you have to learn to love yourself. i know it sounds stupid but when you look at yourself you need to accept who you are and learn to be ok with that.let me tell you something im no expert and never took a psychology class as a matter of fact i barely graduated high school but i learned a long time ago that you need to be happy with yourself and not let past issues run your present life i am an amputee whoo lost part of my right leg after a motorcycle accident wear a prosthetic with no padding to make it look like a real foot and wear shorts alot of the time but still manage to get women to be attracted to me because i accept myself the way i am i know i cant change it so i learned to love myself and have found that when you feel good about yourself look people in the eyes when you speak and dont try to be someone you arent you will find that people will see you as you see yourself tell me if that helps in any way at