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How can I get a relationship?

Published on March 5, 2010 by alynichole

I'm turning twenty this year, and Ive only had one boyfriend. Most people my age have had ten times that or more. While I dont necessarily want to go through too many messy breakups, I would like to have a relationship. The one boyfriend I mentioned above existed in my freshman year of high school, and we had one sloppy first kiss before I broke it off. That's all I've ever had physically too by the way. I do want to wait to have sex til marriage but I wouldn't alot of physical play leading up to it. I'm atleast above a 5 on the 1-10 scale for looks.. What's wrong. I have talked to plenty of guys since then but it never goes anywhere. I do tend to be very nervous and shy when it comes to being around the guys... I dont ever make a move as you would say... but they could.. My friends tell me I dont notice guys flirting with me and they do... do I not notice it when a guy is trying to make a move?? I get that Im relatively young.. but come on, by twenty I should have had more than a kiss and a boyfriend.. Do you have any advice? I should mention I tend to decide i dont like the guy im talking to after about two weeks in...nerves..but later I get over that about another week or two.. but by then the cute ones have lost interest.. and others i feel have gone into stalker mode.. so im turned off.. I had one guy tell me he loved me after only maybe a month of communication...and I drop communication... Help me! Atleast give me some tips on meeting people... I feel I'm doomed to be alone.. Thankyou and sorry for the crazy lengthy story. :/

ANSWERS

alynichole I want to thank you for opening up to us and allowing people to host their opinions so you have a better insight over your enigma.

I know how you feel...during all of high school I never had a relationship with anyone. I didn't start dating seriously until after high school so I can relate. It's not that I"m not handsome enough or willing or able to....I just didn't catch the signs even if the signs were completely obvious. I'm 23 going on 24 on march 15th....and what I can say is that you will have a sloppy relationship somewhere along the road alynichole.

But the key is to learn from any failed relationships because the more protective and picky you are about the people you date or hang with, the more chances you miss at the things that could of happen. Believe me, I have dated outside of my "list" of things I consider to be the traits i hunt for in a woman, but after going outside my list and trying out things, I have modified my list according to the way things turn out. You may need to broaden your spectrum in the dating scene. You will never know if dating a man who's wild or passionate is for you until you try it.

But enough of trying to alter things.....your growing to be a beautiful woman and you want a man who wants you for YOU...and is willing to be with you no matter how shy and patient you are. That's the kind of man you want to be with. I can say that I have been patient for some women, I have been patient enough and over time they pull down their walls and we go on from there no matter how long it took. I"m a kind of man who doesn't have high or low maintenance. alynichole if you ever had the chance to date me, I would be my pleasure to get to know you, to see what makes you happy or sad, to be able to love you for you no matter how you think you compare to other people....because it's all about us.....well that's what I would say if we dated.

But it's up to you....being conservative is nice...but sometimes you may have to experiment. Who knows....you may like the chances you take and it may change the way you think or do things.

Yeah sorry my response is kinda lengthily :(

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