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How to approach "another woman?"

Published on September 15, 2012 by anonymous

Hello:

My wife and I are happily married, in our mid-40s with no children. We are both professionals (me: teacher, she: accountant)and are financially secure.

Every week we play interactive trivia at local bars. The woman who runs these games is a smart, witty, engaging and attractive thirty something. We enjoy talking with her and look forward to seeing her every week.

A few nights ago during pillow talk, my wife, (who doesn't have a bi-curious bone in her body) mentioned that she found "Tammy" to be very attractive and that she had been thinking some sexual thoughts about her.

After I had to get my racing, over-excited male mind off the image of a threesome (Hey, I'm human)we began to discuss this further. We agreed that we would definitely like to socialize with her more, and my wife agreed that there was a possibility of her interest in taking things further (inviting her back to our house for a skinny dip or a soak in our hot tub type stuff, but maybe not all out sexual activity)

My question is how best do we approach this woman? We don't want to come on too strong and scare her off, or ruin the friendship if she is NOT into these kind of ideas and thinks us weird or strange.

We realize we are walking into uncharted territory. Please help.

Sincerely, Curioius couple in Texas

ANSWERS

DON'T DO IT!!! One (or both) spouses in a marriage almost always regrets trying a threesome. Someone's going to feel hurt and jealous when they feel left out and that their mate prefers the newcomer to them.

In addition to the emotional landmines are the career ones. My wife is a teacher, and I can guarantee you have the same kind of "morals" clause in your work contract that she has in hers. If the school board somehow finds out (and nobody is ever as discreet as they think they're being!) you two are doing threesomes, swinging, or anything like that, you WILL be fired, and won't ever be able to get another job teaching. Is it really worth all that?

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