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Hot & Cold

Published on May 25, 2013 by darkemerald

A guy I work with and am friends with is super flirty, but when it seems like we might actually become more than friends he backs off,becoming very distant. It's obvious he's attracted to me,but the one time I asked if we were just friends he just said,"Yeah", and wouldn't look at me. I feel like I'm being toyed with emotionally and I'm fed up with it. I'd be fine being just friends,but when he acts flirty and says all these sexual innuendo comments, I get confused. Should I just tell him straight up to cut the crap? Or just blow it off, pretty much ignore him and get on with my life? I hate to lose the friendship. I can handle if he's not that into me, I just want to know where I stand.


It takes two to tangle, You send mixed signals -he send mixed signals. Guys and girls flirt all the time but it doesn't mean they will always hook up and be lovers. You allow your emotions to get involved where is he's a male and he doesn't. You seem to want to control the pace of the friendship or association. First step is to ask if he would date a co-worker because your already having mood swings and getting overly-emotional and controlling. If the relationship tanks then you will be a headache to work with and that ignorance and tension is annoying and unprofessional. Get your head right and then ask him out ,your treat and don't try to boss him into a relationship. Guys hate it when people try to use their emotions to control others, all the real issues take a back seat just to coddle someone emotional insecurities and usually the hot and cold is coming from the person who gets too emotional. He sounds like a take control of the situation guy but he doesn't like the women to make the first move. So asking him out may be the trick but keep your distance and let him decide to ask to hold hands,kiss, or go further. Not trying to be in control can be stimulating because its spontaneous... Good luck

Thanks, I appreciate your bluntness. I think you kit it on the nose. You don't even know men and you've described me pretty well. Pretty cool. I've had people I know tell me the same thing and I didn't really listen. Coming from a complete stranger makes it very eye opening, and I will take it to heart. Thanks again!