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Help With His Parents Disliking Me?

Published on September 11, 2013 by fuzzybeans

So I've been dating this guy for over a year, and it's been so wonderful. We are super compatible, we get along crazy well, we hardly ever fight (but when we do it's usually resolved fairly quickly). I've never felt so strongly about another person, and I am just loving everything about what we have!

Now here's the problem. His parents liked me at a point, but now they can't stand me. About 7 or 8 months ago, a friend of mine was over my place and sent a hateful message to a girl on Facebook (I know, very childish) who happened to be his ex girlfriend. I would have known that, but my friend had no idea, and she was the one that sent the message.

His ex can't stand me to begin with (so typical, considering how much better I treat him), so as soon as she found out it was a friend of mine that messaged her, she freaked out and ran to tell my boyfriend's parents. I had absolutely nothing to do with the message! But they insist that they have no hard proof that I didn't tell my friend to send it, therefore I am guilty by association. And now they believe I am some kind of horrible, monster of a person, which isn't further from the truth.

So that was bad. And this past April, my boyfriend was a little depressed over everything and the constant fight over me, so I sent him a book, "Love Yourself, Heal Your Life" (a nice, uplifting, inspirational book) and figured that I loved it and it helped me through tough times, so maybe it would help him! Well his parents intercepted the package and saw it was from me when they opened it. They flipped through the book and decided that either I was crazy for sending him that, or I was accusing him of being crazy. So they took it as an insult to him, and in turn, an insult to his entire family, AKA them - his parents.

So they don't want him anywhere near me, they don't want us even talking or hanging out. His parents are very strict, close-minded individuals. Honestly I have always felt that they are downright insane, and very, very controlling. His mother is from the Philippines, and his stepdad is from El Salvador. I am an American-born Italian. So I know there may be cultural differences. But they raised their children here, and my 23 year old boyfriend is an adult, no matter where his parents were born. It's a shame they don't treat him as one.

Now the question is, what can I do to get myself into their good graces? How can I improve the situation here? Because it's now tearing our loving relationship apart. He is forbidden to speak to me, and since he is unable to support himself, he absolutely cannot move out. He has been fighting with them, but he can't fight anymore. They will kick him out and actually DISOWN him if he insists on seeing me! And they have not been budging on this matter. They did something similar with his sister, and she's really struggling on her own now.

Is there anything that I can do to try and repair things? How can I get his parents to accept me? I would appreciate help so much…this has been such a big stressor, and I'm afraid we'll have to break up and never see each other again if we can't fix this. Please help me! I don't want to lose him!