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Yes. I can't point you to anybody specifically because that'd be strange to do over the interwebs, but I can say definitively that there are many masculine men I've met who are interested primarily in more effeminate males!

Are you sure? How come I never see or run into any? Could it just be that I mistake them for straight? And how come I never see any couples where one guy is masculine and the other fem? Virtually all the personal ads say, NO FEMS! This doesn't seem to be a problem with lesbians as there are a lot of couples were one is fem and the other butch, but I never see any male couples like that.

Thanks for sharing. I am going to get straight to the point here because this is a question that I get a lot from my clients.

Yes, there are “masculine” men who are attracted to “feminine” men. I have matched a few “butch/fem” couples that have been very successful in areas of love. From jock to drag queen, I have worked with them to find their ideal match.

I applaud you for being comfortable with your sexuality because there are still millions of gay men and women who struggle with finding that confidence.

When it comes to dating and your preference in partners, I have to tell you that you are suffering from a severe case of self-sabotage my friend. I ask you… What is your idea of “masculinity?”

You probably notice that I keep putting the word “Masculine” in quotation marks. This is because the idea of masculinity is just that... and IDEA. There is no such thing as a 100% Masculine man, gay or straight. If you rely on this idea to determine your potential compatibility with another human being… you are setting yourself up for failure. The fact that you develop crushes on straight guys is a clear indicator that you might want to change the way you are approaching the adventure that is finding love. Crushing on a straight man does nothing but set you up for disappointment. If he is straight, there is nothing he can do for you but possible be a friend. Why not focus that energy on finding someone you have a chance with?

Listen, There is no such thing as “The Perfect Man” but there is someone out there who may be perfect for you. If you want to find him, here is my advice:

• Figure out why you are fixated on these ideas of “masculinity” and lose them. You have to get out of this box that you have locked yourself in.

• Stop comparing men based on their “Butch Factor”. Men are men whether they fit your masculinity bill or not.

• Take some time and think about what is more important to you in a partner. Focus on what you need and get out of the fantasy factor. Look at things like personality traits and the way they carry or handle themselves in one-on-one situations and in public. Also look at shared interests… This is where your chemistry is going to come from.

Once you change your mental approach to this… You will notice your options will become greater. Stop getting hung up on ideas of “roles and labels”. Finding men is not the problem, you just have to open your eyes and mind so you can see them.

I hope this helps.

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