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He wants to find himself

Published on February 8, 2014 by nikkib

I dated a fantastic guy for 2 months. I thought everything was going well when all of a sudden he started to withdaw. He says he hasnt dated/been with enough women and wants to experiment more. Why do this when we had such a good thing going?

ANSWERS

I think you can look at it 2 ways. 2 months is just enough time to start to get to know someone. So, maybe he really isn't as connected to you as you are to him. And doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying it like that. Or maybe he is really just that inexperienced and isn't ready to commit to someone. Either way, you have to let him go. The tighter you hold on, the more he'll withdraw.

Let him go. Live your life. Get clear on what you really want in a relationship. If this great guy is meant for you, he won't go past you. If he doesn't come back, I know there is another man just waiting to love you back just as much as you have the capacity to love him.

Usually when someone says this, they're trying to let you off easy and not hurt your feelings. For whatever reason, you were wrong for them. Unfortunately this really nice way of saying it just leaves you in the lurch, wondering. Now is the time to let him go and start doing the work of finding someone else.

You've gotten some great responses and mine won't be that different. What is so hard about taking him at his word. If he is truly a "fantastic" guy, why do you think he is being less than truthful? It's always hard when someone doesn't feel the same about you that you feel about them. Don't take it personally. Instead, take what you can from this relationship and learn from it. Give your energy to moving forward and getting yourself ready for the next relationship, instead of wasting time on something that is already in the past. You deserve that.

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