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Is he the right guy?

Published on November 3, 2010 by redsky

So basically I met this guy online two years ago...we have been talking forever, and really getting to know each other. And yes I have actually met him in person a couple times. Throughout the time we have gotten to know each other there have been some ups and downs...not communicating properly and getting on each others' nerves etc. Over all we have been able to sort out our differences and things have been going really well lately, Now I know alot about this guy's personality, beliefs and core-values...over all he is a really great guy. Alot of women would be "lucky" to find him still single. But here is where it gets difficult..and yes I understand that I might sound like a spoiled brat who wants everything but please here me out. In my mind this guy is a safe bet, he is stable and loyal and would happily pop the question after the appropriate number of years and emotional stepping stones. My problem is I dont want to settle. Just because I can live with him doesnt mean I cant live without him. I have always wanted an amazing relationship where I have no doubt in my mind that this is guy for me. I want loving someone to blow my mind. I have had something mind-blowing in the past (didnt work out ) so I understand that is possible. So, to whoever is reading this, what should I do? Am I being a fool by brushing off one of the last decent men out there or should I hold out and risk it all for that chance of bliss?


Don't assume too early. Ask for a couple of date to date him, to learn about him in REAL life because maybe to him, this might be a game for him. To checkmate him, you should get to him well before taking any risk. If he is nice guy, he will wait.

Oh its not a game to him...this guy is falling for me fast and hard. Im expecting him to say those three words in about a month. Whether he is in it for real isnt my issue...its whether I am,...I know everything I need to about him but Im still not sure,

Don't assume you know too much. Having a relationship on-line is a lot diff. then 'person-to-person'. I've known people in this situation, who where dealing with a married man, on-line. Why aren't the two of you able to spend time together? Are 'you' the only reason you can't spend more time together? And, if it IS RIGHT, you wouldn't feel so much doubt. If you do love him, and he is SO RIGHT, don't take the chance of loosing him! YOU have to decide what you feel and what YOU want. Because, when you REALLY LOVE someone, it comes from the heart and you take a risk. Just as you're hoping he too, will be saying he loves you. Don't you see that as a risk and a big step for him too? You already see true trust, friendship, and love isn't easy to find - but it is also really hard to hold onto. So, always treat it like it's new and it won't grow OLD! Bottom line, if your hearts not in it, you don't love him. Don't be with him just because 'this guy is a safe bet, he is stable and loyal '.

thanks for the advice both of you. Much appreciated .I agree I shouldnt settle for good enough. Ive been thinking this over for the last week or so and to be perfectly honest my heart isnt in much as I might want it to be. A bit of a disappointment but probably for the best over all. Im going to tell him and move on...maybe the guy who I can give my heart to unafraid is just around the corner :)