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He doesn't know what he wants

Published on August 19, 2013 by misscarr123

I have lived with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, I thought that everything was going well, and saw myself as spending the rest of my life with him. He has also said in the past that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him, and that he wants to marry me.

Yesterday, after a few weeks of him being distant, he told me that he doesn't know if he wants to be with me anymore. He also said that he realised a few months ago (when I was admitted into hospital) that he doesn't care about me.

This came as a massive shock to me, I was upset and told him that I loved him and we could sort it out. While I was crying pouring out my feelings, he ignored me and turned on his xbox!

He said he needs space to figure out what he wants in life, so I'm currently staying with my parents.

Do I wait and give him the time he needs? Or call it off, as I'm not sure I can be in a relationship with someone if they don't feel the same about me as I do for them.


Don’t put your life on pause for someone who has so little regard for you. Maybe he’ll figure out what he wants and start treating you better, maybe not, but you can’t put your life on hold for a maybe. I would say keep moving forward and don’t let his actions pull you down.

I agree with Kristen. You deserve better. Something has happened within these last 2 years, but that doesn't mean it's something you did wrong. Sometimes things just change, and we don't always know why. Take some time while at your parent's house to figure out what you want and how to go about it. Losing a relationship is very hard. I hope you will be kind to yourself over the next few weeks, and pamper yourself a bit.

It’s always difficult to give advice on matters of the heart. My question to you is, How does it feel to be put on hold? Disappointing? Exciting? Frustrating? The best way to move forward is to figure out how you feel in the present. You have moved back with your parents, you are giving him space. Now you can have your own life based on actions rather than reactions. If every move you make is in reaction to what he did, then you are not giving him or yourself any space. Take the opportunity to find out who you really are and what you want. Then move forward based on your wants, rather than waiting for an indecisive person like him to tell you how you fit into his life. This may not be easy, because the feelings are still raw, however his actions speak louder than words. How about giving yourself space and empathy and taking care of yourself? Once you are standing strong again, with your feet solidly on the ground, the answer will come to you loud and clear. XOXO