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he can't stop a fetish even though he's committed

Published on June 6, 2010 by djs

my boyfriend of 11 months can't stop his fetish of taking photos of womens' legs....caught him just today with more photos. he laughs it off, but this really hurts me as he claims 'i'm the one' and has proposed, engagement ring intact. i work extra hard at keeping his attentions with plenty of sex, romance, frilly little nighties, fishnets, etc... suggestions? i feel like i can't trust him anymore.

ANSWERS

If you're doing all you can and he still behaves this way, clearly the problem lies with him --- not you. He may need therapy for this issue. If you believe you can't trust him, then please do not get married. The situation will continue and it will be more diffcult to break things off once you're married.

If you feel this strongly about it, you're going to have to let him know, under no uncertain terms that he needs to get help or you have no choice but to break things off.

I know it's not easy since you've "got the ring" and all, but it will be far easier to move on now, rather than later.

You need to put wedding plans on a standstill and work on this problem. The most concerning part is that he doesn't think its a problem. I would advise you to go talk to a professional counselor and get some help on how to approach this issue with him. Getting married won't solve this problem and he won't change once you are married. If you want to make it work with this guy you need to work out this problem with him.

If your boyfriend's behavior is truly in the "he can't stop" arena then its likely he is either 1) compulsive about it or 2) doesn't really want to stop but won't admit that. If its the first one then he needs to deal with it and based on your comments it sounds like he isn't. I agree with the other two posts, put off marriage plans until he starts doing something about it. If its really is the second (won't stop because he enjoys it but won't admit he enjoys it) then that speaks even more strongly to staying out of a marriage with him until something shifts.

my dear ,you need to know who your man really is before get into any serious commitment but as long as he still take photos of women legs, am sorry he is the Mr wrong cause someday he won't take only legs but will want to take photos of what lies between the legs and he either change or you decide if u love your life and need to be happy look for someone else but no one is ever perfect expect we can change them to change, i advice you talk to him again about it . wish you luck

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