rleon, I don't need to tell you that you are with a person with a lower sex drive than you obviously realize this already. Higher testosterone levels may be ramping up the insatiable drive. Also the fact that you may be unfulfilled may increase your desires even more so. Sometimes when we pick our partners we havn't established our priorities, requirements, and needs yet. When we feel unhappy it usually means we are with the wrong partner or our partner dosen't homor or respect our needs.
Many people in our society have been programmed with religious taboos or social taboos that high sex appetites and creative sexual expressions or a need for sexual variety is wrong. Many people do judge unfairly. Any need to the extreme tends to make people uncomfortable, for instance.... overweight people who need alot of food, people who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, you get what I'm saying.
If this is not the right partner for you it may be time to find a better fit. If this is not an option and you want to remain mongamous, then toys, oils, porn, and self pleasure are your only options.Can you put in writing how important sex is for you, gently, lovingly to your partner. Many times our partner finds it easier to digest something in writing than verbally. They may feel inadequat and they deal with it by making us feel different, weird, judged, but the truth is they may feel scared.
Scared that they will lose us if we don't meet thier needs sufficiently.Try putting in writing exactly what you need, how you need it, how long the foreplay should last, what oils,creams, lotions,what positions,what body parts,what toys if any,what visuals you need, hat words you need said to you during the act, be very, very exact so your partner dosen't have to guess. Then negotiate for something that your partner needs in or out of the bedroom.
Use the "reward system" by complimenting them on thier sexual attentiveness to you no matter how small. Try not to demand or force or voice what you didn't get, rather emphasize and affirm what they did do, no matter how small. Your partner may learn to love the words of affirmation. Learn your partner's love language(THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES by Gary Chapman) This may be a great give and take to get what you want and need by giving your partner what they want and need. Also I can not emphasize enough there is nothing wrong with you, don't judge yourself. I wish you the best.
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It is very natural to want sex. Now a days those who are better at it, and want more of it, are ridiculed or their sanity is questioned because they like sex, and are able to enjoy it once or even twice in a day. What has happened is the majority of people aren't getting enough natural love and sex, and seeking other methods of enjoyment that don't fulfill the desire. I believe you are a woman, imagine how it is for men. I am a man who enjoys the finer, simpler things in life, good food, exercise, and the great outdoors, three crucial elements for a healthy sex drive, never mind the computer and pornography. Two years ago for kickers and personal reasons I decided to leave pornography in the dust and my sex drive went bananas, I walked around 24/7 with an erection, imagine that. It drove me nuts, I couldn't control it, and it was a natural bodily function that began actually causing me problems. There was a test done with animals, I believe it was penguins and they were withheld for a very long time from sex (the males), well they began turning to trees, not realizing what they were doing, and attempting to have sex with a tree. Now, I wasn't thinking of a tree, but my thoughts were always on sex, and it was difficult to operate throughout the day normally without those thoughts appearing in my mind’s eye with no control on my part, it was natural instinct kicking in at certain times throughout the day, telling me to find a woman and get her done :) My sex drive was in over drive all the time, this went on for an entire 9 months, until I finally caved back into pornography, because the women in the area weren't picking up on the signals of a healthy male walking about the planet in need of what they also need and enjoy on a daily basis, it was torture. There is a problem with pornography, it desensitizes a man, and causes laziness and all sorts of mental difficulties with sex. It is very possible that most of the men you have been with or the boyfriend you had, was watching much pornography and that was causing a difference in sexual drives. There is obviously a limit, and I think that every couple should find a comfortable amount that fulfills both desires.
Now...we live in a society today that has done everything in their power to control the amount of sex that people have together, it's amazing how much people allow others to rule or determine for them what is the right or wrong amount. Like any addiction, sex can become an addiction, if your life is way out of sorts and it's interfering with work, family, education, health, and then perhaps it's something to address. We live in a world where sexual arousal is used for many reasons, to sell an item, to manipulate etc.
Conclusion. Do not be ashamed to have sex, be safe and enjoy the pleasures of your body, it is yours to do with what you want, look after yourself at all levels of life, keep things in perspective and maybe limiting yourself to the amount will make it better when you do have sex, that is if you’re needing it more than once a day. What a hypocrite, huh…lol…I personally believe that once a day is a good habit for a young couple of middle age couple to do, providing both are able, it doesn’t necessarily have to be intercourse, but some kind of interaction, and orgasm doesn’t have to be the main objective. At the end of the day who is to say how much is too much. It is a personal decision that only you can make, providing you have taken into account all other reasons for your need for the amount that you are wanting. To deny the body human touch can create many ill effects, and sickness. It is the most crucial element to healthy living, and isn’t it strange how society, religions, etc. try to control this one crucial thing. Seems to me a great way to make money from medications, and control people, and confuse people, those that are, or were the ones making the rules long ago, didn’t understand that evolution is real, and human beings have become more evolved, some just haven’t evolved in the right direction because of misguidance, and trust in those who they believe to be honest and true. The truth is in your heart, live your life as clean and happy as you can, and sex does bring happiness, natural chemical reactions in your brain. I could go on and on about this, because I have lived through much trial and temptation and frustration in regards to this subject. My conclusion changes from time to time, but the one thing that can’t be changed and should never be changed is that man and woman must come to an agreement that they need one another, and stop trying to be so independent of one another.
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