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Haunted by ghost of girlfriends ex's past

Published on April 16, 2014 by brando_c_94

My long term girlfriend and I have lead totally different sex lives. She comes from the party world with lots of experiences and past lovers. My sex life was opposite. We've had one break in our relationship where we didn't speak to each other for just over a month. In that month I had one VERY drunk hook up with another girl who forced herself upon me. My girlfriend also had been with other people. She had gone back to 2 past lovers, and slept with someone new, the guy I had to win her back from. Knowing her sexual past, it bothers me that she can easily go to boys from her past. When we got back together, she had told me that she hadn't been with anyone else, then up until a few weeks ago, she fessed up to sleeping with 3 people. Why does this haunt me so much?


Different things go into why some women go back to past lovers. It could be unresolved feelings or trying to go back to something comfortable and familiar during a time of uncertainty. Is her behavior a sign that she is not really ready for a mature committed relationship? Could be. It could also be that she thought that you and she were over and she decided to do whatever she wanted, and truly, that is her choice. Just like it was completely up to you to sleep with other people during this time as well. Now, the question that you should get an answer to is why she lied about her hookups during your time apart? Are your worries surrounding her 'ability to go back to boys from her past' about her or are they about you? Are you not confident that she can commit to you? Are you worried that you aren't what she's really looking for? Or are your worries about something else entirely? It's never easy to be vunerable and wear your heart on your sleeve. If you want to be with her and she wants to be with you, then you both need to decide how much you are going to 'forgive and forget'. If you decide to stay the course, at some point you both have to let go and move forward without always looking back. It's not fair to say that you forgive someone when you really don't. And sometimes, a person can't really forgive and forget. That's not for everybody and that's OK.

Good Luck.

I am started a relationship with someone with much more dating experience than myself, and I can understand why you are feeling that way. It also bothers me that my bf has slept with so many girls. Every time he greets a girl on the street, I can't stop wondering if he has slept with her.

I guess this happens because we feel they have many people to choose from, and it makes us insecure.

My bf slept with someone else just two weeks before we started dating. I was very shocked. If he really liked me (and he should, if two weeks later he agreed to be my boyfriend), why sleep with someone else?

It probably haunts your because you care a lot more about her then you think. And the fact that she could just do that to you, breaks your heart