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Go to Hawaii with female friend who is not my fiance?

Published on September 25, 2013 by oatmeal

I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years. We were engaged, but due to some trust issues we went through a really bad breakup earlier this year. During this time I made plans with a female friend of mine (we are strictly friends, she's like a sister) to go to Hawaii. I paid for my half, she paid for hers, but we're sharing a room with two separate beds. A few months later my girlfriend and I got back together. The engagement isn't back on yet, but she's basically living with me. I wasn't sure how to bring it up to her immediately, so I waited about a month to tell her that I was going to be going to Hawaii. with my friend. They know each other, and my girlfriend knows we are just friends. The tickets are non-refundable, and we can't change the names on the tickets. My girlfriend isn't totally ok with it, but she's given me the OK to go. What should I do? I can't just throw away $1500. Am I in the wrong to go to Hawaii and expect her to understand?

ANSWERS

I would be hard pressed to be understanding in that situation. Is your relationship worth more or less to you than $1500?

Trust is a very fragile thing. Once it is broken, it takes a lot of dedicated work on the part of the partner who broke the trust and forgiveness on the part of the other partner.

How is the trust being rebuilt? Who is doing what?

If you are serious about this relationship, then you will have to decide how to work out this trip so that it supports trust. You could offer your girl friend the opportunity to go with you.

I can easily see your girlfriend being upset and feeling hurt at not being included in the trip. But it will provide her an opportunity to work with her fears and learn more about herself.

The bottom line is that you have to decide what is most important to you. How easy does $1500 come to you? Decide where are your priorities and values.

Dear money dosent matter if you love her obey her..and make her happy in every way

Do what is best for the relationship if it is the most important thing to you. She may be waiting to see how you decide and use that as a test to see how you feel for you. She made it clear she doesn't like it. Are you saying you are OK doing something to her she doesn't like? For money? $1500 is nothing. Nothing.

Maybe you should ask yourself how serious you are about your girlfriend.

If it was me I would not be OK with my man in romantic Hawaii with another woman when we were rebuilding a broken relationship. Can she get a ticket and join you? Do not go or it will destroy your relationship. I would have a breakdown thinking of my man snorkeling with another woman :/

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