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GF's pathological jealousy

Published on October 14, 2013 by riverham

Hi, guys-

I have been dating, for two years, a wonderful, passionate, beautiful woman. When I say beautiful, I am talking about movie-star beautiful - as well as being blessed with perfect features, she has that internal star power without even trying, and both men and women constantly hit her up. It's sometimes hard for ordinary-looking me to deal with, but I figure it comes with the territory, so I deal as best I can.

The problem is she is, bar none, THE most insecure, jealous person I've ever known. For example, if we're in a supermarket and an attractive woman enters the store 500 yards away and I don't immediately lower my eyes, she accuses me of flirting with the woman, or accuses me of having an affair with her, and she goes into a deep, dark, black hole of negativity and bitchiness. This is but a very, very small example. I am a loyal man - before I met her I was in a monogamous relationship for over 10 years, and I have never been a Playboy.

She has been horribly hurt and betrayed by many men, starting with her father and step father, so I understand where her insecurity is coming from. It's getting harder and harder to deal with, though. "Let me see your phone." "Are you sleeping with someone else? Tell me the truth! YOU'RE A LIAR!"

Why is a woman so lovely so insecure, and what can I do about it? It's the one thing that would prevent me from marrying her, which she very much wants - marriage and children, with me. But I cannot imagine putting up with this - and she won't get help, meaning therapy. "I just asked a question," she'll say, but the question is akin to "Are you still beating your wife?" She has also followed me in her car, to make sure I went where I said I was going - to the library - and not to have a clandestine breakfast with some girl in her mind.

Thanks.

ANSWERS

It sounds like your girlfriends has some serious trust issues. This is something that would be best handled by a couples’ counselor. A counselor could give you good insight into her issues, and help you deal with her, and he or she could also help your girlfriend with her trust issues, maybe show her how some of her behavior is unfounded and inappropriate. Hopefully, you’ll be able to work through these issues together (that’s the key; remaining committed to working though it!) and live a long and happy life together.

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