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Getting over a break up

Published on January 6, 2012 by fcva__2012

My ex broke up with my almost 2 months ago. It was extremely painful even. Our relationship wasn't perfect and I admit to now always being the best girlfriend but we cared about each other deeply and were "best friends". He moved on to another woman a week and a half later and a month in to their relationship were saying I love you. The new relationship is plastered all over facebook...which is how I found out about it. Since the breakup I have been a mess....I blame myself for a lot of the problems (and so did he) -- I didn't give him enough time, enough attention, enough affection, passion, etc etc. He said he still loved me and didn't want us to end but he didn't know what else to do...that he would be there for me as a best friend when I was ready. Once he started dating the new woman he disappeared and his texts stopped. I blocked him on facebook so I can't go to his page but I still think about him and them all the time. I still cry...I miss him, the companionship, etc. I was hoping that he would come back but he has moved on already....and he moved on so quickly. How can he say he loves me but love her within the next month. This woman is giving him everything he wanted -- always together, constantly writing on facebook, always complimenting him, etc. I just have a lot of loneliness now even though my friends and family have been great. I feel like I failed...I didn't make him happy but this new woman can (she is everything I wasn't). The hurt, self-questioning/self-doubt, and constant thinking and talking about him/him and her won't go away. I want them to end...I want him to get hurt like I was hurt...I know this sounds horrible but it's honestly how I feel.

ANSWERS

Breakups are never easy. It's good that you're allowing yourself to "grieve", but I would definitely caution you to not get too wrapped up in the him moving on thing. Dwelling on his new relationship is only going to hurt you.

Use this time to work on YOU. Check out some books from the library. Take a class. Start a journal. Or better yet, start a blog. Take your energy and reinvest it in yourself.

And never underestimate the healing powers of hanging with your friends to get your mind off the breakup. Who knows, you might meet someone new when you're out with them!

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