0 0


getting the milk from the cow for free?

Published on July 2, 2010 by layah86

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly six years. it will be in less than a week., We have had our fair shares of ups and downs working through our issues or so i think some of my issues with him are we need to go on more dates we hardly do anymore. therefore i dont feel appreciated he goes to his parents every monday also to go to hockey after dinner with them but cant seem to take the initiative and think of doing something with me, we have been living together for most of our relationship. im constantly hearing that its the "comfortable" stage. hes even said to me that he dosnt think of doing things because he knows im just there and will be i find myself expressing my needs like a broken record. needless to say im questioning if im the "one" for him and vice versa. as we have been dating for almost six years and he hasnt popped the question. but does talk about the future. im terribly confused i love him and would do anything but marriage is something i believe in and i dont want to wait another six years.


Your future with him doesn't sound very good but dumping him isn't necessarily the best choice. First, if he treats you and the relationship like this now, it isn't going to change significantly if you are married to him. That's the biggest warning sign right there. Relationships require work and care. You ought to be going on dates on a regular basis, both now and after you are married.

It sounds like you have discussed this to some degree with him but I suggest you have another conversation and get much more specific about how he feels about you, about what he wants for the relationship and what he wants for the future. He may just repeat his "I'm comfortable" line. While that does impart some information its too vague for what you need to know. If he can't or won't be more specific, then suggest you go to counseling together for a few sessions (I reccommend at least 3 sessions). If that doesn't produce any results or he won't go to counseling then ending it may be best.

Bear in mind that if you do end it, you will need to grieve for several months (possibly as long as a year) before you would be ready to date again. If you go that route, I urge you to take the needed time for grieving and letting go.

He is comfortable but you are not. You have expressed your needs and he is ignoring them. I suggest dumping him. 6 years is way too long to not have a ring. Don't waste any more time with him. The clock is ticking.

Blessings on you and yours John Wilder

very interesting about men! When you give your all they take you for granted. I wonder!

Just start doing other things and let him miss you and see what happens. If he is not shaken then may be he is not interested in you any longer.

He is taking you for granted. He doesnt have to take the relationship to the next level because as you say "you are there". If he hasnt listened to you about your needs in the past he wont do it in the future. What you do with him is up to you but if its marriage you are interested in you may have to seek it elsewhere.