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Getting back with an old flame

Published on April 20, 2013 by ladywallflower

My story goes this way.

8 years ago, fresh from college, I started dating this guy, (Mr. X). He was just in town for a vacation with his family and after a month or so he needed to go back to his home place to start college. We had a great time together and even after he went home, we were still in constant communication, until everything just drifted apart. We both became busy with school and all. After that we never talked or communicated. During college,I had a boyfriend for 4 years but we broke up. Right after the bad break up, my past flame appeared again in the picture. He also recently broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years. We became each others confidant, each others friend. After a while, we started reminscing and thought of the past we had together. But then, there's this other guy who was so persistent and soon he became my boyfriend. Mr. X got mad and never talked to me again. In the early part of my new relationship, Mr. X is back in town. I met with him once but never did again since im already with someone else. He was asking me if I'm sure about my decision and if I cant change my mind. He asked me a lot of questions like why I did not wait for him. I was confused but I was also very convinced that i made the right choice. After that I never saw him again. After a few months, he got himself a girlfriend after he went home. After 2 years, Mr. X came to town again. He never contacted me but then fate played its course,we saw each other on a random occasion. after that we started hanging out together. The thing is, we're both in a relationship (long distance relationships). Now, the feelings is back, and the thought of what could have been if i had waited for him is consuming me everyday. We have been spending time together and i never thought that this would happen. Should I continue seeing him? Now im not sure If im supposed to be with my boyfriend anymore. He has been sneaking to see me althought his girl is also in town. I cant understand why he does this and why he still wants to see me. Timiing was never our friend. Help please. I need advice experts. thanks you in advance. x0x0


First of all, you must immediately stop seeing each other on the sly - both your boyfriend and his girlfriend deserve to be treated better than that. Next you need to decide who you really want (sorry - you can't have both. It WILL: have to be one or the other).

There's a saying that you make time for what's important to you. If you and this old flame really want to be together, you will find a way to make that happen. If you don't, you sort of have your answer.

There is no "SO CALLED EXPERT" who can fix two people who are both liars and deceptive. How about you both agree to tell your partners you have been sneaking to see each other and let the card fall where they will? If both parties leave you then you got your answer. Once you shine some light on deceit then all the answers you need will support or deny the lies your both telling yourself. Regrets for the past "what ifs" just show neither of you can be trusted and as long as the infatuation is stronger than reality then no one will ever be esteemed to WALK INTO THIS SO CALLED TRUE LOVE! You both are blowing smoke up each others but and if your content with loving lies you must be a liar too so enjoy the thoughts of grass being greener if it helps you fantasize.

thank you for the honest answers. I really needed that wake up call. Probably i just have to end everything with both of them. I know i have been very unfair to both of them especially to my boyfriend. on the brighter side,I guess this situation is a blessing. In the first place, i wont even think of seeing that old flame if i love my boyfriend that much. After thinking things over, i must admit that its time for me to walk past this. I cant even bare the thought of hurting my boyfriend because i know he loves me that much. thanks again.