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Getting back together with a commitment-phobe

Published on March 5, 2014 by confused30

I was dating this guy- and felt very optimistic that he was the one for me. We were so happy together. Then a month ago, he dumped me out of the blue. I was so shocked, he had no real reason. Heartbroken- but I had to move on. He would randomly text me, I answered the ones that asked questions and didn't reply to the others. He asked to see me, after him asking a few times- I agreed. We met for a drink. He explained to me how he was scared of the relationship and freaked out. He apologized and told me how remorseful he was, and that he wanted to try again. He seemed very sincere. I didn't say much, but he told me to think it over. I definitely want to give it another shot, he has never had a long term relationship, but he tells me how much he wants one. I know it will be tricky.

How long do I wait to contact him and tell him that I'd like to try again? I'm not sure how to approach this. I'm crazy about him, but I know this will need to move slow. What do I do to move forward?

ANSWERS

Dear confused30,

I think you know what to do to move on, it seems like you're really looking for someone to validate your fears and tell you that they dated a commitment-phobe before and they changed their tune as well. I'm sure lots of them have.

However, there are no guarantees in relationships. There is always a risk it could turn out badly. You have to decide for yourself if it's worth taking the risk with this guy again.

Once you decide, you know how to get back in the swing of things.

Good luck whatever you decide.

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