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Getting along with grown up step kids.
How can I earn respect from my step kids? They introduced me to their father and we fell in love and my relationship with them has see-sawed back and forth ever since. The stepson lives with us and he is 22, for the most part he respects us. My husband and I have put a lot of money into our home and his kids just don't respect the fact that this is ours and we expect them to live by our rules. We understand it will take some time to adjust, but we will have been married one year on July 1st. Our home was part of his divorce settlement. She had an affair and filed for divorce while he was serving our county in Iraq. His ex was a horrid housekeeper, where I am not. I expect everyone to pick up after himself or herself, put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, etc. We had new carpet put in and have asked everyone to take off his or her shoes upon entering the house, the boy will but the daughter won't. One day she tracked in blood from outside. Her brother had hit a deer and she was looking at it and stepped in it then came in, it got all over our new carpet and all she could say was shit. I am starting to resent them and don't want to, she and I used to be very close friends and she has pulled away from both her father and me. Any suggestions???