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FWB - got the benefits, but lost the friend

Published on April 8, 2010 by mama24

I have been friends with this guy for a number of years. About a year ago we started being friends with benefits. I was cool with it and also with his request that we keep it private.

However, ever since the benefits started, the friendship seemed to end. He wouldn't talk to me in public, no more friendly chats or anything. When I called him on it he said he didn't know how to act around me in public.

After a while the benefits stopped and I was cool with that and hoped the friendship would start up again. It didn't. Then the benefits happened again.

Now I'm just confused. What gives?

ANSWERS

I have only the benefits part with a guy for over 6 years, and it's hard for me to ask for something more since it's so awkward in public. I try to talk about my feelings and get nervous and don't say what I mean. I have said that I love him and he lavishes in all the attention, I'm not breaking the cycle because the insane attraction I feel. It's shameful and I need to do something very direct to deal with this.
At least you have had a strong friendship and I believe you should be able to get that back because you were friends before. Please let me know how to get to that point!!!

It's clear with this guy that you can't have both. You have to pick benefits or friendship.

It's important to realize that FWB situations never work out. The friendship ends when the boundaries are changed. These situations can't last forever and when they're over, there usually isn't a way to salvage the friendship. It's obvious that the friendship is long gone with this guy and there's no way to get it back. He now thinks differently of you and is just using you for sex. Forget about the friendship you once had with him, that is gone. Accept the relationship for what it is, benefits. If you aren't happy with it, then close the door on him and move on.

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