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Friendship issues

Published on January 7, 2012 by theresa0404

Last fall I ended a doctor/patient relationship in tears, because I could no longer handle his emotional abuse, anger and aggression and not mention his lusting after me. He was super angry when I decided I no longer wanted him as my doctor. After, I had decided to leave his care, I looked back over the fifteen and half months I was his patient to see why he treated me this way. I still care about him and now I wished I had not ended the doctor/patient relationship, because I too still have feelings for him. However, I will never be able to have a romantic relationship with him, because he is a married man, with two young children. However, I would like to be his friend. I feel bad that I hurt him the way I did, when I wrote and told him I could no longer be his patient. A few weeks after I wrote him, I sent him another letter explaining that it was his emotional abuse I could no longer handle and not his skills as a physician/surgeon, was I felt I could no longer be his patient. I left his office on September 23, 2011, my last appointment with him in tears. I would like somehow to repair damage, even though he told me he never wanted to see me again, if I truly felt the way I did about him. At the time I did feel that way, now I wish I had never wrote those letters. He has since left the state, and I did find out where he is currently working and living, however, I have not correspondent with him, accept a couple of emails. I also sent him a Hanakkuh card to his former place of employment, because I did know that he closed up his practice and left the state at the time I sent him and a few other Christmas cards to his former place of employment. I still have feelings for him, but not in a romantic way and I would love to make it up to him, even though I feel he was the one who was victimizing me. I never gave him any reason for him to be emotionally abusive, take his anger and aggressions out on me, to flirtatiously winking at me or lusting after me. I feel I am the victim, however, I also feel that I must have hurt him deeply when I wrote and told him I could no longer be his patient. I cried for two days after I wrote those letters. I now would like to find a way to communicate with him, to let him know I am sorry and I would like us to be friends again. Also, once I found out where he is now working and living, I did contact the corporate office to let them know they have an excellent physician/surgeon working for them, however, I did let the know that his professional conduct needed quite a bit of work. I was told to go to the website and a fill a form and explain my position. I told them everything that happened to while I was under his care. I did this so that staff will realize the anger and aggression this will inflict upon them, as well as, I did not want any other vulnerable females to become another one of his victims. I also wrote to them, I do not want anything to happen to him. I did not write this to be vengeful, because I am not a vengeful person, I did it because I care about him and I would like to see him receive help for his anger and aggression. How do I go about mending this situaiton, since I still care very much about him? I am having a hard time putting this man out of my mind. What can I say or do to see if I can resolve the situaion. I do not like to be angry at anyone and I do not like it when people are angry at me and hold grudges. Please respond.


Wow! Let me get this straight, your Dr abused you emotionally , you then wrote him to say you will not be his patient anymore and then you decided you wanted to be his friend , even if he is married with children, you then stalked him when he left sending mails and calling his place of employment to "give him help" and to warn other women there about his Behaviour .. Come on ! seriously?? ok heres me not trying to think your some kind of crazed out stalker and someone who is way out of line, so here goes: What you should have done when he was your DR and he treated you wrongly was to complain at the medical board about the situation and get another DR. Then you should of let it go girl. He is a married man and even if he was out of line , just read your question again. Seriously look at what you said , STOP calling this man, stop sending mails or calling his work! and for God's sake carry on with your life. Be his friend? Why would you want to be someones friend who abused you emotionally ? and obviously you do not want to be friends because you said you have feelings for him and you say things like you cant get him out of your head.. wow? Hello? Your not supposed to be acting this way its not good or healthy for you ..... and really get a female dr next time so you wont develop what is in my opinion really Inappropriate feelings. I know you made a mess of things but just let it go. Go and be happy and leave this behind you . Best of luck xoxo