YOUR VOTE0 0
Last fall I ended a doctor/patient relationship in tears, because I could no longer handle his emotional abuse, anger and aggression and not mention his lusting after me. He was super angry when I decided I no longer wanted him as my doctor. After, I had decided to leave his care, I looked back over the fifteen and half months I was his patient to see why he treated me this way. I still care about him and now I wished I had not ended the doctor/patient relationship, because I too still have feelings for him. However, I will never be able to have a romantic relationship with him, because he is a married man, with two young children. However, I would like to be his friend. I feel bad that I hurt him the way I did, when I wrote and told him I could no longer be his patient. A few weeks after I wrote him, I sent him another letter explaining that it was his emotional abuse I could no longer handle and not his skills as a physician/surgeon, was I felt I could no longer be his patient. I left his office on September 23, 2011, my last appointment with him in tears. I would like somehow to repair damage, even though he told me he never wanted to see me again, if I truly felt the way I did about him. At the time I did feel that way, now I wish I had never wrote those letters. He has since left the state, and I did find out where he is currently working and living, however, I have not correspondent with him, accept a couple of emails. I also sent him a Hanakkuh card to his former place of employment, because I did know that he closed up his practice and left the state at the time I sent him and a few other Christmas cards to his former place of employment. I still have feelings for him, but not in a romantic way and I would love to make it up to him, even though I feel he was the one who was victimizing me. I never gave him any reason for him to be emotionally abusive, take his anger and aggressions out on me, to flirtatiously winking at me or lusting after me. I feel I am the victim, however, I also feel that I must have hurt him deeply when I wrote and told him I could no longer be his patient. I cried for two days after I wrote those letters. I now would like to find a way to communicate with him, to let him know I am sorry and I would like us to be friends again. Also, once I found out where he is now working and living, I did contact the corporate office to let them know they have an excellent physician/surgeon working for them, however, I did let the know that his professional conduct needed quite a bit of work. I was told to go to the website and a fill a form and explain my position. I told them everything that happened to while I was under his care. I did this so that staff will realize the anger and aggression this will inflict upon them, as well as, I did not want any other vulnerable females to become another one of his victims. I also wrote to them, I do not want anything to happen to him. I did not write this to be vengeful, because I am not a vengeful person, I did it because I care about him and I would like to see him receive help for his anger and aggression. How do I go about mending this situaiton, since I still care very much about him? I am having a hard time putting this man out of my mind. What can I say or do to see if I can resolve the situaion. I do not like to be angry at anyone and I do not like it when people are angry at me and hold grudges. Please respond.