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Friends with Benefits for 5 years... think I fell in love.

Published on March 25, 2014 by loveunnaturally

This is super awkward... but I think I have fallen for my friends with Benefits. We have been messing around for 5 years and still going strong. Along with our ... physical relationship developing, our emotional one has as well. He checks up on me, asks about my day, and he is just all around caring... I care about him a lot and I feel like he may be developing feelings as well.. How can I tell? I never expected the relationship to last this long, as well as never expecting to develop feelings! I am so confused!


Friends with benefits can lead to something more, and the best way to know is to to have an open discussion about your feelings with him.

You can ask him if he wants to get together to do something fun, like playing pool or going for a bike ride with you. Don't call him up to have "the talk." While you're out having a good time, you can bring it up to him casually.

Keep it simple and tell him that you have developed feelings for him and then ask him what he thinks about it. Don't answer for him, or keep thinking about what he might feel. He will probably tell you. He might need some time to sort out what he thinks about the situation, and if he needs time, give it to him. Be patient if you have to wait for his response for a few days, and keep your options open at the same time.

If he wants to have an exclusive relationship with you, great! If he doesn't... well, you can't talk him into it. If this is the case, I would stop sleeping with him because for you it's not just friends with benefits. The bonding hormones have already kicked in and if you keep sleeping together your feelings won't just go away.

If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to contact me.

XOXO Dina Colada

Ah the old friends with benefit dilemma.. I actually had a few and it's hard for those feelings not to develop. The guys were much younger than me, so it was understood from the onset that it wouldn't work out long term. I wonder why your fob became that rather than a regular dating relationship? I'd definitely come right out and ask him about his feelings towards you. Be prepared for the answer and decide how you want to proceed. You deserve more than this if he wants it to stay FOB. I'm curious as to where this will end up. Please let me know. Check out my website: and YouTube channel for more great info on relationships.