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Friends with Benefits...Can this change?

Published on September 9, 2012 by jessicarabbittjax

Met a friend online. On our first date we had fun, he got me flowers and we were in the same page. He knew I wanted a LTR. After a month and a half, problems with his grown up kid's wife created a big first fight.

After the fight he told me he had emotional problems raising in two failed marriages, being sexually abused as a kid and having second thoughts about his ability to become emotionally involved with me. I told him I'd always be here for him and that I cared and loved him (he had already told me he loved me too). He introduced me to his mom, but we stopped being  intimate for about two weeks. During all this time we still talked on the phone and texted each other daily.

A couple of weeks ago he confessed he is unsure about having a loving relationship with me and said "I can only be a FWB at this time. My life is a mess, I am seeking psychological help for my abuse as a kid, my two ex wifes were a mess. I need to heal from all of that". I said I would support him in any way I can. I did not literally agree to be his FWB, but eventually we started having sex again.

A few days ago I had some serious problems. He asked me to dress up on Friday and took me to this expensive restaurant. Like a real date. We ended up spending the night in a hotel - hot sex and all. The next day he showed up with some medication I urgently needed and let me borrow some money to pay some important bills (I am currently unemployed and looking for work). Hes's been kind, texting several times a day to ask how I am doing, asking me about my son. He cares about me more than my ex fiance.

Is that how friends with benefits behave? I love him but know he may not be relationship material. Should I close the door? Is there hope this can turn into a relationship? When I look at his eyes I can see he cares and loves me...he just does not say so.

I welcome all your comments...please give me some advice.

 

jessicarabbitt

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