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Friends with benefits ok or not ok?

Published on May 2, 2010 by soxfan

I have a very good friend we've know eachother for over 10 yrs, we've both been thru a lot with relationships and confided in eachother about relationship problems. We have recently crossed the line, going from just friends to friends with benefits. I am recently divorced and he is engaged to a woman who he says brings him 'stability', she is like a 'security blanket' - his words. I think she's his 'sugar mama'. We have fun together and occasionally 'hook up'. I love him as a friend and he loves me too, but it's not the romantic head over heels in love. We make eachother laugh and we enjoy eachother's company, always have. We are happy when we're together. I've tried to stay away from him, but I miss him, I miss his friendship. He calls me all the time and wants to see me, I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes he just wants to get dinner, get a drink, hang out, it's not just for sex. I know this is wrong because he's engaged, but he doesn't seem to take the engagement as seriously as he should. The wedding date has not been set. It's not this year, and not next year, he doesn't know when it will be. I don't know how to stop this relationship. Will we ever be able to go back to being best friends?


If you know its wrong then why are you doing it because I would bet a paycheck that when he's with her its all good and he's downplaying his relationship with his finance only in front of you he has crossed a line and that line is he's playing you for a fool he must think your stupid no friend treats a friend that way good luck

I don't know if I agree with the previous person, but these types of situations rarely, if ever, work out. Sooner or later one of you will have more feelings than the other and will want a relationship. If he is with another person, then he should not be with you anyway. He needs to make a choice, even if it is neither of you. You should either state the way you feel, stop sleeping with him, and/or discuss his intentions toward the other woman. It would be hard to trust anyone who you know is cheating on their fiance.

You should also go on a date with another man, just to see how you feel about it and how HE might feel about it. Get yourself out there and stop waiting for this guy, because he sounds like he's not ready for any commitments.