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FIGHTS

Published on February 9, 2012 by culvularia

i wanted to ask ,, when me and my husband were dating for 1 and half years we hardly fought but now he has changed.he become so irritating ,he would interfere with everything what i wear to what i cook....sum times i keep quiet but m becoming impatient so it leads to fights...i left my country as he got a job here in usa..ok it was my choice i know it,,,but is there sum way that i can get the original man whom i decided to get his tag,is there sum way...i dont know do couples fight during he first year of marriage is it normal.not that he doesnot love me..but the fights and nagging takes a toll on me...sumtimes i feel when i have children ,,it wont be good if they get such environment where both of us keep on reacting to each others dialogues..more or less its like it atarts if do sumthing like if i really ..tried to cook manchurian for the first time ..bought everything then prepared everything so that my husband feels good ...he passses a angging comment like i dont like it stop forcing ur wishes on me..which i take as an insult so ..vicious circle starts .... i dont know i have started to feel life s only one if everyday i cry then its not worth ....life so fragile ...i am so confused ..

ANSWERS

First, don't you even think about having children until the two of you can co-exist with each other in a lloving and supportive way. It would be a travesty to bring a child into the environment you have described.

As for the fighting, It is difficult to guess what's up with your husband. The best way to find out is to come right out and ask him. Don't ask him why he is upset at you or why he does not appreciate you. Ask him what he is unhappy about. Anyone that can not recognize the effort or love that their partner is expressing has personal issues of their own that are unresolved. He needs to fix those issues and it is not your job to do the fixing for him.

I would also go to www.matchmatrix.com and run a relationship report between the two of you. There may be some very solid pronounced energetic differences that make conversation and other relationship qualities difficult. If you have differences here and are not aware of them, no matter what you do, the challenges will come back up again and again.

thanks for ur advise really appreciate it .....i am already married whats the point of taking the report...i know its full of challenges ...i don't know till what level should i compromise or be patient

All couples fight - its just do you fight fair? and in a way that creates more connection - go get the Love Treaty at www.thelovetreaty.com its full of great ideas!

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