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facebook commenting on a friends friends status

Published on March 1, 2010 by alex1968

i had a look at my boyfriends page and he had commented on one of his mates status (female) she had said " Why do a lot of relationships tend to go down hill after you start living with someone" my boyfriend ticked the like button. i then commented "i suppose it's the intent of the couples living together that predicts success" and he went ballistic!

he called me at work saying that i dont even know her and to keep my sarcasm to myself.

a) i wasnt being sarky and b) i dont see a problem with commenting on someones comment isnt that what FB's all about? it am i wrong? NB: we are both over 40 and have been living together for 6weeks lol

ANSWERS

It is kind of weird to comment on someone's status if you aren't friends with the person who's wall you are commenting on (by your letter it sounds like you aren't facebook friends with this girl yourself). Perhaps him freaking out is because he's thinking that you're checking up on him and his friends on facebook. Most people probably wouldn't like that. The problem with message boards is that there's no voice tone, only words and everyone will interpret what they read differently. He clearly viewed it as you getting defensive about your own relationship. And it sounds like you're thinking his 'like' of the status reflects his feelings about your situation. If that's the case it makes sense that he'd view your comment as backlash at him in a way. It's best to just ask him if he's feeling any negativity about your current living situation and let him know if you are. Then just try to work through it.

It sounds like you both were being defensive/snide about your relationship in a passive aggressive way and now you are bickering about something that is just a symptom of the real issue.

What is really going on here? Were you irritated at him before? Was there something else going on? It's neither "wrong" nor "right" to comment on this girl's status. The real determiner is the intent and it is pretty clear your intent was to send a message to your boyfriend.

I think you need to find out what is really bugging you and have a talk about the real issue.

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