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Give Advice: Should I Blame Him Or Facebook?

Published on January 9, 2012 by brittd91

Facebook has ruined a little of the marriage I have. I have been married for six months and unknowingly been played since we were engaged as I have said in previous posts he actually cheated when we got married. I was unaware of my husbands history with visiting sites like Facebook to chat and flirt with many women especially women he did not know. It sounds innocent but he also will tell them how sexy they were, call them baby etc. and on tagged website he would tell women he wished he could lay with them. On several occasions I asked him to stop doing that he has restricted it; however, this new year he has started up again, he admitted that he has a strong urge to do it...honestly if he could handle it I wouldn't mind if that's just a big addiction to him but I know he can fall too deep that's why he cheated before. I give him a very minute benefit of the doubt because e is inexperience with women in general, I didn't force him to get married to me and vice versa. I thought he was ready but I suppose not, I am a Christian, but i wouldn't mind allowing him to fulfill his desires(again I know it's wrong)...but I'm afraid he will grow emotionally attached in which I want it to be with me....I want him to be more open with me...,I was his only lover outside his infidelity....I can understand his curiosity he is a man for crying out loud. He definitely wants me (the cake) and all the icing (other women's attention etc.). Honestly, from what I see it's a big insecurity he has to want to have self validation from females. Is this wrong? Let me cut it short, I'm confused on whether or not to get a divorce, is there other ways I can show I mean business?

ANSWERS

It's not facebook sweetie, It is him. I'm sorry to hear about this and the pain you must be feeling. But there are plenty of MEN out there that don't do things like this. And you deserve to be with a real man who loves you and respects you, is satisfied by you, and would never do what your husband is doing. That really isn't too much to ask of a partner, it's expected. I hope you have the courage to move on from this guy and find a true partner who loves you. Good luck.

I never said he didn't love me. He claims he does, even though a few of his actions are questionable. Many guys may not do things I listed, and I knew there is a lot I expect from a man and a woman that you plan to spend your life with; however, some people have very high expectations and really lose it If they don't have there expectations met. I believe guys and girls have their own issues whether it be with women, men, other addictions the list goes on. The advice I seek is an objective advice that isnt critical on how the situation looks. Honestly, do we as humans expect our spouses to be perfect.

Of course we aren't perfect. But him chatting w other women and being so emotionally involved with them online, calling them baby, clearly expressing he wants to have sex w them goes way beyond imperfect. If u r ok w it then that is fine if that works for u. Some people have there relationship bounderies set where that sort of thing is ok. But from what I gather from u, your relationship is noty set up that way and it bothers u that he does this. He's gone beyond crossing a line. He knows this hurts u yet he continues. So he basically doesn't care about how u feel. U should be with someone who respects u and won't deliberately hurt u, in my opinion. If he won't stop, why would u stay?

He has stopped talking to them this way. Most of the time the girls are unresponsive to him. Most of thIs happened after we got married...I heard men are sometimes frantic in that stage. I want him to be more open and honest that is it.

I would sit down w him and say something like, I'm really committed to this marriage and u and I want us to have a happy life together. Can we talk about some things in a non critical way that would help each of us have the best relationship possible, what would make u happy, what could I be doing better, etc. There is nothing better than a real open and honest convo.

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